


Speechless

by Utsukishi



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AU, Akashi needs kuroko to cover him with a blanket, Character Death, Drinking, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Attempt, a shit ton of angst, akashi goes through a lot, arc 1 is fluff, arc 2 is angst, arc 3 is angst and fluff, basically its fluff, he learned over the years, not sure how many ships will be in this but lets hope there will be a lot, papakashi is a nice asshole, this fic is so angsty im so sorry, woohoo we're done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 44,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utsukishi/pseuds/Utsukishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko Tetsuya is just a normal teenage student who wishes to work with children and young adults when he grows up. His first ever job as a teacher (while still a first year in high school) is to help another teenager with his studies - Akashi Seijuurou.<br/>There's a little twist to it all and Kuroko feel determined to do more than teach the other. Just how will things turn out between them?</p><p>(there's 3 parts in this and a lot of angst)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arc 1: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Another AkaKuro fanfiction! I thought of this while in my placement for college! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> [I have only read over it once but there still might be some mistakes in there. I would like to apologise in advance if there are any]. Here's the prologue:

Today was the day.

The day where Kuroko would go for his first job as a student. He was only 16 so he was only expected to teach another boy just slightly older than him. He was fully prepared with various books and sheet of paper. With highlighters and pens and even a notebook for all his personal notes. He took deep breath and knocked at the Akashi household (it looked more like a mansion than a house though).

About a minute later a well dressed man with jet black hair opened the door. "I'm here to teach the son of Akashi." Kuroko repeated the sentence he had practised since morning, gently bowing at the other male.

"You must be Kuroko Tetsuya, yes?" After a nod from Kuroko the man offered a small smile. "I will show you to his room. Please be patient with the young master. He is not used to having people visit him at his own house." After closing the door behind Kuroko, the man started walking around the maze like corridors - Kuroko closely following to make sure he does not get lost. After turning a few corners they had arrived in front of big red door, carefully carved with the young masters name - 'Akashi Seijuurou.' "Just go in, he is most likely at the table playing shogi." The man motioned towards the door and Kuroko nodded yet again, ready to meet the young master.

As Kuroko walked in, he saw red. Red wallpapers, red bed covers, even furniture made from red wood. At the table, sat a crimson haired male, one of his legs drawn up onto the chair he was sitting on, playing shogi. Kuroko walked over and put his bag down on the table, near a chair he decided to sit on. "Hello, Akashi-san. My name is Kuroko Tetsuya and I'm your new teacher. It's a pleasure to meet you!" Kuroko softly smiled, extending his hand out. He watched as Akashi extended his hand out, gently grasping Kuroko's. The feeling made Kuroko uneasy. Akashi's hands were cold and he didn't really grasp the hand. It was as if a young child that was left out in a freezing cold world had reached out to you, shouting for help.

After not hearing an answer, Kuroko decided to sit down. "I'm only here today to show you my style of teaching and making you feel used to me. I'm also here so the two of us can get to know each other." Kuroko spoke in a calm and quiet voice, feeling like if he had spoken too enthusiastically he would have startled the other.

Kuroko watched as Akashi moved the shogi board away before realising he had to take out his stuff. "Right so I like to use books for individual reading and research. You can always chose between asking me or using the book when you're stuck. I usually like to write on hole punched paper so it can later be put in a file so it doesn't get crumbled up or lost. Lastly, I prefer using a blue pen and highlighters. It helps me learn better and I hope it will help you too." He looked up at Akashi and smiled as the other only slowly nodded.

"This is what my notes usually look like." Kuroko opened one of the notebooks and showed Akashi the first page - filled with notes and colour coded information. "Would you mind showing me your notes?" Kuroko asked and watched as the crimson haired teenager stood up, walked across the room to his desk, and picked up a notebook. Akashi looked as if he was scanning the notebook, flipping from one page to another before closing it and walking over to Kuroko with it. He handed the notebook to Kuroko as he sat down and watched Kuroko with his heterochromatic eyes.

After checking the notebook, Kuroko sighed the smiled. "I see that you already are neat but I'm sure that adding colours would help you out more." He looked up at Akashi who in return, only nodded his head. Was Kuroko boring him? Should he say something about himself?

"I guess I'll properly introduce myself. As I said, my name is Kuroko Tetsuya. I'm a first year student at Seirin High and I'm also part of the basketball team there. I live with my parents and I'm an only child.  I'm studying to become not only to become a nursery teacher but to also become a middle and high school teacher." He finished with a smile then a question. "Will you tell me about yourself?"

After seeing Akashi shake his head no, Kuroko could only sigh. He already learned that Akashi was a hard character to deal with but he didn't expect him to be this quiet.

Several minutes later, Kuroko had explained what he will be teaching Akashi first and managed to leave the room. Surprisingly, he quickly found his way towards the man (a butler, Kuroko guessed) he had met earlier. "How are things coming along, Kuroko-san?"

"Harder than I expected. He hasn't said a word to me yet but the lessons might end up going faster than expected since he seems to understand most things." He smiled and noticed how the butler only looked at him with a little confusion.

"Has no one told you about the young master yet?"

"Um... was there something I needed to know?"

The man nodded, and a small frown was visible on his face. "Our young master had not spoke since his mother's death when he was 7."


	2. Arc 1: Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko has no idea how to plan a lesson for Akashi so he decided to hang out with Aomine and Kise

Kuroko spent the whole school day thinking about Akashi. How could someone not speak for 10 years? He found out that Akashi was not mute but he decided not to speak. That he had shut himself away from the world. He didn't even speak to his closest friend and he didn't even need to do speaking assessments. He was seeing a specialist but he still didn't speak a word - not even to his own father. It confused Kuroko but it also made him want to help even more.

Kuroko was glad that nothing important was being taught at the moment otherwise he would have missed out too much stuff. Asking Kagami for the notes would be impossible as the other always asked for notes himself (due to always sleeping). Kagami would even ask why Kuroko didn't have them and saying that he was thinking about someone would give Kagami the wrong idea - especially since the other often mistook things.

Practice took his mind off of things as he needed to think almost constantly about who is free and where to pass. It would be quite a shock if he had failed to successfully pass. However, he left without even getting changed, wanting to go home and plan the next lesson.

How was he supposed to teach someone who had not spoken for over 10 years?

The thought kept on racing through his mind and therefore, he asked Aomine and Kise to meet up with him. They always helped him out and they didn't let their friend down.

"So he's not spoken for 10 years? Ask him questions that require answers. He'll speak sooner or later." Aomine shrugged as he stuffed another burger, which they got from Maji burger, into his mouth - chewing and swallowing before Kuroko or Kise managed to say a word. "He can't stay like that all his life."

Frowning, Kise hit Aomine's side. "Aominecchi... when  did you become such an idiot? Those things take time... right, Kurokocchi~?" Kise chimed, sounding almost too happy about the whole situation. "All it needs doing is giving him time. Ask him simple questions but don't expect answers! Make him feel comfortable around you!"

"He doesn't seem like the type that would open up to a stranger so easily." Kuroko sipped at his milkshake, unsure if he made the right choice when asking those two for help. "I want to know how to plan a lesson, not how to make him speak."

The three stared at each other before Aomine spoke again, saying something more reasonable this time. "Just do it. Get him to copy notes. Get him to write things. Get him working. Teach him the same way you would teach a shy child. Be careful and make sure you don't force him into stuff."

"That last line sounded surprisingly smart." Kise blinked and stared at Aomine, his mouth slightly open (probably due to the shock of Aomine saying smart stuff).

"That's how I got you to sleep with m-" before Aomine could finish, Kise's hand was already slapped on his mouth. Kuroko only raised a brow but ignored the comment, already knowing that the two were going out. Gently smiling, Kuroko took another sip of his drink, grateful for such friends. 

"It's quite late. I'm sure my parents would let you two stay at my house as long as you two don't jump at each other like bunnies." Kuroko commented as he checked his phone. It was quite late and Kise did live quite far away. Maybe Aomine could go home if he wanted (taking Kise with him) but Kuroko's house was the closest. "We could play some video games as I got a wii U for Christmas from my grandparents" he added and noticed how the two almost instantly said 'lets go'.

As they made their way inside the house, Aomine and Kise instantly greeted Kuroko's parent before making their way to Kuroko's room. As the three of them played and ate (Kuroko was the one to get food from the kitchen), Aomine paused the game and looked at Kuroko. "Wait how do you find time to do all this?"

Kuroko, although slightly surprised at the question, turned from the screen to look at Aomine. "I have childcare and education classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. I go to teach Akashi on Tuesdays and Fridays." He glanced at Kise who was now looking at Kuroko too. "I had a day off at afternoon school today so I decided to plan my next lesson but I didn't know how."

After seeing Kise turn back to the game, he grabbed turned too and resumed the game again, smiling at how Aomine shouted about them starting without him. He truly enjoyed their company.

 


	3. Arc 1: Chapter 2

Kuroko took a deep breath as he grabbed his bag, all equipment needed already in there with enough space to fit more. He had just gotten out of shower when he realised he had to go teach Akashi again. it was their second time meeting and they had agreed (Akashi just nodding his head) that they would go over the basics. Later on Kuroko decided to go with maths and he even called in to ask if they had small whiteboards as to not waste any paper on recap. Fortunately they did have some as they used them to sometimes communicate with Akashi.

He checked himself in the mirror yet again and fixed his hair. It would feel a little out of place if he just showed up looking like... Aomine? It was a rude comparison but if you were to compare Aomine and Akashi you would be able to tell they wouldn't get along. If he weren't in a rush, Kuroko would go get a different cardigan but he had to leave as soon as possible. His mother already called a taxi and left money for him on the table before leaving with his father. Apparently they were going out with a couple of their friends from work.

As soon as he heard a car outside, Kuroko rushed downstairs and grabbed the money. He (luckily) had already put his shoes on and had the keys in hand. He made sure to lock the door before getting on the taxi and telling the driver where to go. "Going to one of the richer areas, eh?" The man asked and Kuroko only nodded. "Meeting with ya girl, lookin' all fancy?"

At that, Kuroko slightly blushed. "Ah, no. I'm going to teach someone." He murmured and looked out of the window. The trees were colourful and bright. The sun was still shining bright but it wasn't as high as it had been before. Was he being nervous if he noticed this stuff? He shivered at the thought and opened his phone.

"Well ya still look fancy!" He heard the taxi driver chuckle and he quickly called Kagami. It took a few rings before Kuroko hung up. Why was he calling Kagami again? Maybe to talk and try to stop being nervous? Or even figure out why he was nervous in the first place!

It took the driver 30 minutes to get them in front if the mansion. Kuroko spent the time texting Kise and he found out he might be nervous to be the only one to talk while teaching (he wasn't sued to speaking so much... especially if he was going to be the only one talking!). He did give him good advice to treat it like a lecture. He payed the driver, grabbed his stuff, and walked to the front of the mansion. He knocked and about five minutes later the same butler from the last time appeared.  "Good afternoon, Kuroko-san."

"Please just call me Kuroko-kun. It feels a little awkward any other way. And good afternoon!" He bowed his head then smiled at the butler who returned the smile.

"I'll lead you to Akashi's room. Please wait with the lesson as Akashi-sama has organised a dinner to meet his son's teacher. The lesson will start after that and we insist that we drive you back home, Kuroko-kun." He spoke as he let Kuroko in and they both started walking towards Akashi's room.

"I'm glad I picked some of my best clothes today then." Kuroko muttered and tried to remember the way to Akashi's room. It was on the second floor near the end of the 3rd corridor... in the west wing. They had walked past the library and some guest rooms.

As soon as they made it into the room, Akashi stood up and handed the butler a note. The butler, after reading it only sighed. "Dinner will be ready soon so maybe next time?" He asked and Kuroko watched Akashi. He fumbled with the hem of his sleeves as he listened to the butler before running his hand through his head and nodding. Was he nervous about something? "I'll call your room phone once dinner is ready and I hope you don't forget to take our guest, your teacher, with you." The butler smiled before leaving the room.

Kuroko waited a few seconds before turning to look at Akashi and smiling. "I heard what is happening. I'll take my stuff out to have it ready for after dinner." Akashi nodded his head and Kuroko walked towards the table, starting to take his stuff out including stuff like a ruler, a calculator, pencils, etc. He was aware of Akashi sitting on the bed and watching Kuroko. Didn't he have stuff to do? Like school work or maybe talk with his friends via texts?

Sighing, Kuroko put his bag down and turned to look at Akashi. "Would you mind if I looked at your bookshelf? I'm quite fond of reading and I also wanted to know what kind of book you might want to read for one of our lessons." When he saw Akashi shake his head, he smiled a little before walking over to the bookshelf. There were mostly textbooks for school and a few novels. Not a large variety. He was about to ask if he had more books but a phone rang. Kuroko watched as Akashi moved to his nightstand to pick up the phone. He didn't speak and after a minute or two, he put the phone down.

Akashi then turned to look at Kuroko. "Time for dinner, right?" Kuroko asked and Akashi nodded. If it weren't for his great observation skills, Kuroko would have missed the look of relief on Akashi's face. The two of them walked towards the door and out into the hall. After that Akashi motioned for Kuroko to follow (which Kuroko was glad for as he might have gotten lost by himself).

After a few minutes they had arrived in front of large wooden door. On both sides, stood two servants. Akashi glanced at them before they bowed and greeted them both, opening the door which lead to the dining room. In the dining room there was a large table with plates and cutlery on it. On the last chair, sat a man with crimson hair and crimson eyes. He smiled and yet, Kuroko didn't think it was sincere. "It's nice to finally meet Seijuurou's teacher." The man spoke up and Kuroko gulped. He was about to have dinner with his student's father... even if it was quite unnecessary.

After taking his seat, Kuroko turned to look at Akashi's father. "My name is Kuroko Tetsuya and it is a pleasure to meet you, sir." He gently bowed his head before slowly lifting it up. He was nervous. He was definitely nervous and he wasn't sure if he would be able to eat. 


	4. Arc 1: Chapter 3

The dinner wasn't as bad as Kuroko had expected. He didn't have to talk too much and only answer the questions which were asked. Akashi's father did seem to be doubting his skills as soon as he mentioned that he went to Seirin High. Of course, not many people thought it was a good school but at least it was good enough for him.

After dinner, Kuroko suddenly felt a chill. Akashi and him were walking back to Akashi's room but something felt odd. The aura around him clearly told Kuroko to not speak and to just walk. Why was Akashi behaving like this?

After arriving back to Akashi's room, Akashi grabbed his notebook from his desk and walked over to the table and sat down in the chair he was sitting in last time. Sighing, Kuroko sat down in his old seat. Soon enough, he learned that Akashi was skilled in maths and their lesson finished earlier than he had expected.

* * *

It was Saturday the next day and Kuroko woke up to his ringtone. Someone was calling him and when he checked the caller's ID is said 'Kagami-kun.' Kuroko sat up and picked up. “It's 8AM Kagami-kun. I went to sleep late last night and if you're calling me to say something stupid, you can hang up now.” Kuroko was usually a very morning person but he had gone to sleep at around 4 the night before.

“Ah no I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with Kise, Aomine, and I to play some basketball! We're going in the afternoon as Kise has a shoot this morning!” Kagami seemed overly cheerful and Kuroko felt bad for having to say no.

“I'm sorry Kagami-kun but I went to sleep at 4 in the morning and I feel like I'm about to fall back to sleep any moment.” It was quiet for a few seconds before Kagami's voice made Kuroko flinch.

“Why would you go to sleep this late?! Go back to sleep and I'll visit you later to see how you feel! Now back to sleep!”

“Yes mom~” Kuroko smiled a little as Kagami hung up. He let himself fall back onto the bed and pillows before falling asleep again.

When he woke up 3 hours later, he went straight to his desk and began looking through various textbooks that he had from school. He was determined to find something he could teach Akashi but everything seemed like it would be too easy! He had even looked up harder stuff online but he didn't know what would be too hard or what would be too easy. Well, he could find something that would challenge Akashi...

By the time he knew it, Kagami had walked into his room. “You look like a mess.” Was all he said before walking over, making sure everything was saved, and closing his laptop. “I bet you haven't even eaten any breakfast because from what I heard, your parents thought you were asleep. Now go and get yourself ready. We're going out.” He passed Kuroko a brush before making himself comfortable on the bed, already on his phone.

Kuroko, who seemed to be in a daze, moved to clean himself up and got some light breakfast which he ate quite quickly. After finally getting ready he walked back into his room and turned to look at Kagami. “Thank you.” He walked over to his bag, put a water bottle and some snacks in before picking it up. “Lets go. Aomine and Kise are probably waiting.”

* * *

When they got there, Kise had just lost to Aomine in a one-on-one. They were happy to see Kuroko and then the they argued about who should play with Kuroko. After a few poor excuses as to why they were a better choice, Kuroko made them pick numbers from 1-10. Aomine won and was the first one to play in a team with Kuroko. Of course, the best team was made of Kagami and Aomine as they both were very good players but... they didn't get along very well.

As the hours went past, it was already 6. “Ahh~ I'm starving! Let's go to Maji Burger!” announced Kise as they were all walking back.

“You want to go to Maji Burger? I expected you to be on some sort of diet since you're a model.” Kagami played with the basketball as he looked at Kise. It was obvious that Kise wouldn't want to gain too much weight if he wanted to stay popular, right?

Kise grinned and motioned for Kagami to throw the ball to him. After catching it, he dribbled it. “I play basketball everyday so no matter how much I eat, I lose weight afterwards! That's why you and Aominecchi never gain much weight even after eating nearly all the burgers from Maji Burger!” The grin never left his face as he listened to Aomine and Kagami saying how they 'didn't eat _that_ much.' Kuroko watched them with a smile and realised that he just needed to take his mind of things.

After eating, Kuroko went home straight away as he had managed to come up with a plan for his next lesson with Akashi. It will give Kuroko time to see what Akashi has learned and see what he has missed when off from school.

The days went by quickly and before he knew it, it was already time for him and Akashi to see each other again. With his bag filled with books and notepads, Kuroko knocked on the door to Akashi's hosue.

 

 


	5. Arc 1: Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another lesson with Akashi. This time, Kuroko meets Midorima Shintarou.

_tick-tock_

_tick-tock_

_tick-tock_

The clock in Akashi's room was all Kuroko could focus on. He had come 20 minutes earlier and Akashi was currently talking to another student - apparently someone who was studying to become a doctor. From what Kuroko had heard, they had known each other since they were young and were quite close. Everyone in the mansion seemed to think that having a doctor and a friend helping Akashi would be great. It would, wouldn't it? If Akashi were to ever speak again, he would definitely do in when with someone he felt comfortable around as well as someone who he could trust. Not just with his life and health but with his feelings as well. Someone who didn't make him feel trapped.

After reviewing the question Kuroko had prepared, he messed around with his phone. There were only a few minutes left and they could come in any second. Kuroko would meet Akashi's doctor and even be introduced to him as the teacher so that the two of them could work together to help Akashi... but one thing made Kuroko feel uneasy. Did they really need to 'help' Akashi? Sure a doctor would be fine but Akashi was free to do whatever he wanted to do. It would be troublesome to not have him speak for the rest of his life but putting pressure on him would result in a worse ending, wouldn't it? 

After hearing the door open, Kuroko stood up and turned around. He first saw Akashi with a faint smile then a green haired teenager with a frog in his hand. "I'll definitely win next time, Akashi!" The green haired teenager frowned then looked at Kuroko. "You must be Kuroko Tetsuya, right? My name is Midorima Shintarou. I'm Akashi's part time doctor and someone he can casually play shogi with."

Kuroko gently bowed his head. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Midorima-san." He looked up and watched as Akashi then turned to look at Midorima. After glancing at Akashi, Midorima cleared his throat and moved closer. 

"There is no need for such formalities. Just use '-kun' instead. I also was asked if you could call Akashi using the same suffix. He said it makes him feel less like a normal teenager when you use '-san.'" 

"Ah... I will. I apologise if it takes me some time to get used to it." Kuroko smiled a little. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"No. I already have your phone number and I will text you any important details later. I will let you start with your lesson." He bowed his head a little then left, leaving Akashi and Kuroko to start their lesson. 

* * *

 

"For this chapter I want you to answer these questions. That will be it for today and we can continue this next time depending on your understanding of the character. Not that I doubt you but sometimes, everyone has different opinions about someone. While you're reading, I will look through your notebooks and see how you're doing in your classes."  At that, Akashi seemed to suddenly become alert. He stood up, walked over to his desk, grabbed 5 out of 6 notebooks, and handed them to Kuroko. "Uhm.. What about the last one?" Kuroko asked and looked from the last notebook to Akashi who only shook his head. "I'm guessing it's something private then. That's fine."

Kuroko watched as Akashi sat down again and started reading. Sighing, Kuroko started looking through Akashi's notebooks. He noted down what he had studied and what seemed to be only written down half way through but never continued. There were a few ripped out pages and when Kuroko looked closely, he noticed that the notebooks were all slightly damaged. One of them had a stain. The second one looked like someone tried to rip it up but either gave up or was stopped. The third one had bent corners and the cover had scratches on it. The fourth one had a few of the back pages ripped out - some even only half way. The last one looked neatest but when Kuroko flipped through it, he saw random pen marks on all of the pages. It certainly was... odd to see Akashi's book look so messy. He had expected the other to keep everything neat. 

After examining all the notebooks and after writing down what they could work on, Kuroko looked up at Akashi who was already staring at him. Once he saw Kuroko look at him, he lifted the pieces of paper he was given and handed them over to Kuroko. "You're finished already? I thought I would still have extra time since we've been here for... an hour already? Ah, looks like I'll have to go then. I'll look over your work at home and I'll inform your butler of what we will be doing next."

Kuroko packed his stuff, carefully making sure to not damage the work Akashi had given him. "I'll see you next week then, Akashi-kun!" Kuroko smiled before going out the door, if he stayed for a bit longer, he would have missed his bus. He failed to notice how Akashi had reached out to him as if he had forgotten to give him something. Unfortunately, Kuroko had moved too fast. 

* * *

 

When Kuroko got home, he started reading the answers. He was focused on reading and jumped when his phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. It was a text message from an unknown number. 'This is Midorima Shintarou. I would like to meet up tomorrow at 4PM as I'm free all afternoon. You can decided on the meeting place. We need to discuss some things about Akashi.' 

When Kuroko had answered where they could meet, he went back to reading Akashi's answers. At the end, he found a pleasant surprise. It was a small drawing of Kuroko. "Akashi is a skilled artists too, huh?"


	6. Arc 1: Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akashi and Reo decide to hang out after school.

"Is everything alright, Sei-chan?" Mibuchi Reo asked as him and Akashi played shogi at school - Akashi obviously winning. They had been sitting there for about 20 minutes as practice was cancelled (due to the Inter-High coming up and the need for a break). Akashi and Reo decided to stay behind to play some shogi then go out to get something to eat.

"You've been deciding on your next move for the past 4 minutes so don't even try telling me that everything is fine. I've known you since we were little." Reo asked as he watched Akashi who in turn, suddenly tensed up. “Now, what is bothering you, Sei-chan?”

Akashi sighed and reluctantly took a pen out of his blazer pocket (something that Reo always scolded him for as the ink might spill if he’s not careful enough) and grabbed the notebook out of Reo’s hand. He hesitated before writing ‘I’m thinking about my new teacher’ and handing it over to Reo, watching as the other furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“It’s rare to see you think of someone who you’ve met only two weeks ago. Especially since you have seen him for around 3 hours. Is he a good teacher?” Akashi nodded and took the notebook again, fidgeting with the pen before writing something down again. “You’re nervous, aren’t you? You’re fidgeting with the pen and you’re being hesitant. No one will find this notebook. Don’t worry. I only use it to communicate with you, Sei-chan. You can write your worries down.” Reo smiled and took the notebook form Akashi.

“Ahh… I see. Let’s clean up here and get something to eat. We will talk after we have eaten, is that alright?” After seeing Akashi nod, Reo put the notebook in his school bag and put his coat on while Akashi put the shogi board away. “Make sure to properly put your scarf on. I don’t want you to get sick like Kotarou who decided to not even wear a coat!” he frowned and fixed Akashi’s scarf, gently shaking his head as he saw Akashi smirk up at him. “I know. I know! My reputation as the teams sister is growing~” He chuckled then started heading out.

After 30 minutes, the two found their way into a restaurant. “I heard Midorima-kun’s friend works here. What was his name… Takao, right?” Reo asked and looked around, noting the raven haired male approaching them.

“You two got here at the perfect time! Murasakibara came to visit us and he started making lunch for certain guests! I’ll go tell him you guys are here so he can make something nice! Ah-!” Takao stopped as he heard his phone ringing. “Sorry gotta pick this up! Your food will be ready in the next 30 minutes so find a seat and make yourselves comfortable!” he grinned before picking up his phone. “Ghost-chan! I haven’t talked to ya in ages!”

“He sometimes reminds me of our Kotarou… Full of energy and- Sei-chan please don’t give me that look. I can’t help being the big sister.” Reo looked down at Akashi who yet again, was smirking. Giving up, Reo looked for a nice seat where there weren’t many people around. “Since we have to wait for our food, say why you’re thinking about your teacher.”

Akashi smiled and gently shook his head, taking a pen out of his bag and waiting for Reo to hand him the notebook. After Reo took it out of the bag, Akashi started writing. ‘I was thinking about our lesson and I realised he had a very calming voice. It made me feel at ease.’

“Huh? Is that all there was to it? Really?” Reo looked at Akashi, confusion in his eyes. “I expected more since you were really out of it.” He stared at the redhead before him. “So there is more to it.” He announced as soon as Akashi looked down at the notebook. “Say everything, Sei-chan. You know I get easily worried.”

‘Fine. I really like his voice – not just because it’s calming. I also might have drawn a little cartoon picture of him at the end of my work.’

…

…

“You did what?” But before Akashi could answer or react, Takao interrupted them saying how they’re food was done earlier as Murasakibara decided to make food for them instead of for other clients. The two ate in silence, not awkward silence but a nice kind of silence. Once they have eaten, Akashi paid and the two of them started walking towards the train station.

“Sei-chan? Do you think that Kuroko-kun will stay? This is the first teacher to ever last for more than a day. Most gave up because you can’t speak while other quit after seeing how smart you are.” Reo looked at Akashi who could only shrug. “Yeah, we can’t be sure, can we?”

Once at the train station, Akashi turned to Reo with the notebook in his hands. ‘Reo. You don’t need to cry. I know you’re worried about me but I promise you that I will speak again one day. I’m trying to, trust me.” Akashi smiled and wiped Reo’s tears with his hand before writing something down again. ‘I’m sure that with everyone’s help I will overcome this obstacle.’

Reo gave Akashi a weak smile. “I’ll be there for your next lesson with Kuroko-kun. I want to see how good he is.” Akashi nodded, giving the notebook back as his train arrived. “I’ll see you tomorrow in school, okay? And Sei-chan? Thank you. I trust you.”

Akashi leaned his head on the window, listening to the train moving. Will he really speak again? He had to try his best for Reo’s sake. In the end, he helped Akashi the most, didn’t he?


	7. Arc 1: Chapter 6

After meeting up with Midorima, Kuroko wasn’t sure what to think. He did expect to hear some of the things but all of that… It was… shocking. He couldn’t sleep that night and fell asleep during class – luckily Kagami had woken him up before the bell went. He couldn’t say why he couldn’t stay awake though. How could he explain staying up all night thinking about Akashi? Why was Kuroko hired if Akashi needed so much help in his life?

The sudden ringing woke Kuroko up and he stared at the time. He had to leave to teach Akashi in about 20 minutes. He had already gotten dressed and he just needed to call the taxi to take him there. Sighing, Kuroko called for the taxi and fixed his hair and clothes while waiting for it.

30 minutes later and Kuroko was in front of the mansion. He knocked twice before someone opened the door for him. It was a tall male with black hair and… really long eyelashes. Behind him, stood Akashi, looking over at Kuroko before gently waving. “Ah! You must be Kuroko Tetsuya, yes? I heard about you form Sei-chan. My name is Mibuchi Reo – Sei-chan’s childhood friend. I wanted to meet you so I decided to come over to one of your lessons. I hope you don’t mind.” He smiled and reached his hand out. Kuroko shook it before coming inside.

“I don’t mind at all. Mibuchi-san. It’s a pleasure to meet Akashi-kun’s friend. Especially since you are his childhood friend.” Kuroko smiled at Reo before following him and Akashi to Akashi’s room. “I heard you missed 2 of your lessons before lunch from Midorima-kun as you two had a meeting.”

Noticing Reo glance back at him, Kuroko smiled a little before they made it into the room. As soon as they walked in, Kuroko and Akashi walked over to the bed while Reo went over to Akashi’s desk, grabbed a book, and sat down on the bed. Kuroko could feel him watching his movement from behind the book.

“As I was saying, I will go over the stuff which you had missed as I managed to get the important stuff. I didn’t manage to think of a good lesson for you as I had met up with Midorima-kun.” Kuroko smiled and suddenly felt himself getting tired again. He took out his notebooks (luckily he wrote Akashi’s missed notes down while on the taxi) and a few colourful pens. “We’re going to also work on colour coding your work. If there’s something important, highlight it or underline it with red so it stands out. Anything you don’t quite understand or would like me to add more work for it should be highlighted or underlined green.”  
  
Kuroko looked up at Akashi and noticed how the other had already grabbed a pen and started reading through his book. Quietly sighing, Kuroko started looking through Akashi’s missed notes and writing some maths equations. As he was writing, he didn’t notice that he was slowly closing his eyes, too tired to keep them open.

“Kuroko-kun?” A hand on his shoulder suddenly made him sit up and he looked up to see Reo standing next to him. “Are you alright? You looked like you were about to fall asleep…” Seeing the worried look on Reo’s face, Kuroko smiled.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t sleep at all last night but I thought I got enough sleep during the day. I’ll be fine though I will make sure I don’t fall asleep.” He ignored the fact that Akashi was glancing at them form his work, looking from Reo to Kuroko and back to Reo before tapping his shoulder.

Reo turned around and smiled. “I know. I know. You don’t need to tell me, Sei-chan.” He then turned to look at Kuroko. “Would you like some coffee or an energy drink?”

“Ah. I’m not very fond of coffee and I don’t even have the money to pay for an energy drink.” Before he could say anything else, Reo interrupted.

“No. No. No need to pay for anything. Sei-chan would never allow you to pay for something so I’m just going to go to the nearest shop to get you a drink. I might get something for Sei-chan too since he’s doing his work so nicely now. I always tried to get him to make his books look neater but they always ended up getting wrecked.” Reo sighed before grabbing the money form Akashi who was slightly smirking – something Kuroko saw for the first time ever. He had seen Akashi faintly smile but never smirk… Why was he thinking about Akashi’s smirk?

When he finally snapped out of it, he noticed how he was staring at Akashi and how Akashi was staring at him – Reo was nowhere in the room. Kuroko only looked down and sighed, finally ready to start explaining everything to Akashi.

When Reo came, Kuroko thanked him for the drink and drank most of it in one go before going back to the lesson – totally not realising that Reo was staring at him. It took him another 20 minutes to finish explaining everything else. They had 5 minutes before the end of the lesson and Kuroko turned to look at Reo as he packed his notebooks and pens.

“It was a pleasure to meet Akashi-kun’s childhood friend. At first I was a bit nervous since you have known Akashi for such a long time so I was scared you might think my teaching is bad for him. I’m glad that we managed to kind of get along.”

Reo smiled, quickly glancing at Akashi. “I may know him for a long time but I never had him draw me a picture. If Sei-chan is fond of you, then so am I. It was a pleasure to meet you, Kuroko-kun. I’m sure you will make my Sei-chan get a bit better, won’t he, Sei-chan?” He smiled at Akashi who was looking away, a small blush on his cheeks. “Ah. That’s right I wasn’t supposed to talk about the picture. Sorry~”

“Well, I should be going now. I’m going to be late for my bus.” Kuroko smiled before going out, his heart racing for reasons unknown to him and a faint blush on his face.


	8. Arc 1: Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice is cancelled and Kuroko is still spacing out. Kagami questions many things.  
> Kuroko is quite oblivious to many actions of a certain red head called Akashi Seijuurou. Are they what Kuroko thinks or is there a more complicated reason behind those actions?

“Alright everyone! Practice is cancelled today as I-“

“You have a date with Hyuuga!” Izuki shouted over Riko who only blushed. However, Hyuuga already had to be held back by Kiyoshi. Before Izuki could make a pun, Riko cleared her throat, catching everyone’s attention.

“Yes we are going on a date. Kiyoshi said he won’t be the captain for the day since he has to leave early and I’m not letting any of you morons practice here without someone responsible.”

* * *

 

Kagami glanced at Kuroko before sighing. “I can already tell you’re thinking about the next lesson for Akashi. It’s like it has taken over your life. I’m going to visit Himuro this weekend so I need to pack my bags so don’t worry about not going to Maji burger with me.” He grinned at Kuroko who only smiled back.

“Thank you, Kagami-kun. It’s just that after meeting with Midorima-kun I’ve been thinking more about Akashi…” He had a distant look and Kagami decided to ignore that for now as he guessed Kuroko wouldn’t want to talk about it.

On his way home, Kuroko could only think about what to do for their next lesson. By the time he got home, he still had nothing. It would definitely take time for him to plan any decent lessons that would actually help Akashi especially after what he heard from Midorima. Their conversation still repeating itself in Kuroko’s head.

* * *

 

_“I know that this was a lot to take in but you need to understand that Akashi has needs which you need to make sure are met. This is just what has happened and if you continue to work with us, I will tell you more. You’re his new teachers and from what I have seen, you could easily end up having to watch out for his mental health.” Midorima tapped his taped fingers on his lucky item of the day – a cat figurine – as he watched Kuroko, his gaze steady and careful._

_“I understand.” Replied Kuroko but he wasn’t sure if he did. “You’re telling me that I might end up being his mental health support and this is not something I was prepared for. I’m younger than him. I won’t make any promises.”_

_Midorima shook his head. “This isn’t what we were supposed to tell you but it is information which needs to be told. If you aren’t ready to sacrifice at least some of your time and if you’re not prepared to at least help us with Akashi, you should quit now. This isn’t as simple as you think. Akashi is complicating and he is unpredictable. I’m not telling you to think about it at home or during the week. You need to make the decision now. I know it isn’t easy but that’s how everyone around Akashi had to make their decisions. Neither I nor Mibuchi were ready for this. We were dragged into this by Akashi. Mibuchi was his childhood friend and I was his friend after we met in hospital when he was 7. We weren’t given a choice at such young ages. You have a choice and it’s up to you whether you stay or leave.”_

_This was too much for Kuroko and he was close to saying he quit but then their first handshake flashed in his mind. “I won’t quit. Akashi-kun needs me. I felt it when I first met him. I’m not ready to become his mental health support alone but I can work it out with someone else. I will stay and I ask for your assistance in taking care of Akashi-kun, Midorima-kun.”_

_Midorima smiled, satisfied with the answer before he frowned again. “Now that you agreed, there are some things which you must know. You cannot tell anyone about them.”_

* * *

 

“You’re asking me why Tetsu has been spacing out in class. Are you stupid? How would I know?” Aomine frowned as he sat in front of Kagami in Maji burger. Next to him sat Kise. The three of them met up after Kagami called them to meet up because he was worried about Kuroko. He still had to pack his bags but Kuroko was an important friend to them all.

“I was asking both of you. I didn’t expect an answer from you anyway, Ahomine!” Kagami threw his burger wrapper at Aomine who swiftly caught it and put in on the tray. Kise had already threatened to not sleep in the same bed as him for a month if he were to cause a mess while in public. “He said he’s been thinking about Akashi and I saw him smiling at a few pieces of paper – Akashi’s last assignment or something – and when I asked him, he said he was just looking at a picture. He showed it to me and it was of him. He’s been spacing out in practice too and luckily coach and Hyuuga-senpai went on a date today so he didn’t get hurt or anything.”

Kise was leaning forward, obviously interested. “So Kurokocchi has been thinking about Akashi? He was thinking about him even after their first lesson. It’s been a while since then, hasn’t it~?” He grinned at the confused faces of Kagami and Aomine. “Isn’t it obvious? Kurokocchi is sick!”

“Sick? You mean as in he caught a virus and he’s sick? He doesn’t look like he’s ill or anything.”

“And he seemed fine when we played basketball.” Aomine added then they both looked at Kise who chuckled.

“It’s not that kind of sick. Our precious Kurokocchi is love sick!”

* * *

 

Kuroko’s thoughts were cut off by the sudden ringing of his phone. He was thinking back on his conversation with Midorima and how he should approach the issue. When he checked who was calling him, he picked up after letting it ring for a while. He heard Kagami mutter a quiet ‘bastard’ before he asked for Kuroko to come over to his apartment to help him pack because he had to leave in 2 hours and he still had to get ready.

And so, Kuroko sat on Kagami’s bed, folding t-shirts and jeans and placing them into a neat pile. “Please explain why you need 5 shirts when you’re going for 2 full days, Kagami-kun.”

Kagami looked up from his draw and pointed to a basketball. “We’ll be playing one-on-ones and I’ll need a shirt for that and then we will probably have unexpected sex in unexpected place. Additional shirts may be needed just in case.” He explained, his face blank as if he didn’t know why Kuroko had to ask. “I think it’s natural that you would want to fuck your boyfriend who, although is supposed to be your ‘brother’, is like a damn bunny.”

Kuroko cringed at that. “I definitely wouldn’t know if it’s natural because 1. I never dated anyone before 2. I am asexual so I don’t plan on fucking anyone like a bunny unless I’m in a stable relationship with them and 3. No, being asexual doesn’t mean I have to be repulsed by sex I just don’t experience sexual attraction towards anyone.”

“You and your damn sexualities.” Kagami groaned as he remembered when Kuroko took 2 hours to explain how there were different sexualities and how someone could be only romantically attracted to people or be neither sexually nor romantically attracted to someone. “Oh yeah. How do you feel about Akashi? Kise said you might like him since you’re always thinking about him and all that.”

Rising a brow at that, Kuroko wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s true that I’ve been thinking about Akashi-kun a lot but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m attracted to him. Aomine says smart things sometimes but that doesn’t mean he is smart… neither are you.” He faintly smiled at Kagami’s groan. The two dropped the subject and continued packing Kagami, managing to do it in time.

* * *

 

With Monday, came Kagami and with Tuesday, came another lesson with Akashi. Unprepared, Kuroko knocked on the door to his room and walked in after the door was opened. Akashi’s hair was messy and he looked like he had just woken up. “I hope I didn’t wake you up, Akashi-kun.” Kuroko bowed a little then smiled at how Akashi rubbed the back of his neck, trying to hold back a yawn at the same time. He heard from his butler that Akashi was taking a nap as he hadn’t felt well but he was told that Akashi should be awake by now.

“Should we start our lesson?” Kuroko asked, unsure of what he would ask Akashi to do. He was unprepared and he was about to ask about school when he saw Akashi shake his head. “Huh?”

With a barely visible smile, Akashi quickly wrote something in his notebook before handing it to Kuroko. Kuroko grabbed it and began reading – feeling excitement build up in him. ‘I wanted to show you the library instead of having a lesson today. I was going to inform you after my nap but it seems like I slept for longer than intended.’

“I would love to see the library.” Kuroko answered and with a nod, Akashi lead Kuroko out of the room and through the corridors. While passing a half open door, Kuroko caught the scent of vanilla. Not giving in any more thought, he looked over at Akashi who was confidently making his way through the house. It took them a minute to reach a large wooden door and when Akashi turned around, Kuroko knew it was the library. He watched as Akashi reached out towards Kuroko and placed his hand over his eyes. His hands felt cold and vulnerable and yet, Kuroko felt his heart skip a beat. Akashi was very distant and it made Kuroko glad to know Akashi trusted Kuroko enough.

With his eyes closed and covered, Kuroko heard a clicking sound and then a hand grabbed his, leading him inside. The smell of books filled Kuroko’s mind and the air felt chilly. He opened his eyes when Akashi took his hand away.

The sight was amazing.

There must have been over a million books and Kuroko wanted to read them all. He walked around the room, picking up books and not noticing how Akashi intently stared at him. Once he had a few books in his hands, he turned to the table and was about to place the books down when he felt something cold touch his own hands. When he looked at them he saw that Akashi was taking half of the books. They both placed the books down on the table and Kuroko saw how Akashi was still looking at him. Or rather glancing from him to a green book and back at him… just to glance back at the book again.

Quickly understand what Akashi meant, he picked up the book and handed it over to Akashi, holding his breath when their fingers brushed against each other when Akashi took the book. They both sat down near each other. Far enough to not invade each other’s personal space but close enough for their knees to be barely touching. It sent chills through Kuroko but he definitely knew he enjoyed it. It was a sign that Akashi was comfortable around him.

 

_But he was still oblivious to the glances that Akashi sent towards him every now and then._


	9. Arc 1: Chapter 8

Kuroko was in a great mood after he saw the library in Akashi's house and it gave him a reason to not think about his responsibility as a mental health support whenever he went to Akashi's house. It relaxed him and even Kagami asked him what had happened. It made Kagami glad to know that Kuroko was finally getting enough sleep.

On Thursday, Kuroko had a book ready and he looked forward to the lesson. He had planned it very carefully as he had picked out his favourite book from school - About a boy. It wasn't the most interesting book out there but Kuroko felt like it had great character development. With just a knock on the door, memories of them in library flashed in Kuroko's mind. It made Kuroko wonder... just what exactly is Akashi to him? Kagami's previous question didn't help either.

His mind was filled with questions throughout their lesson. Kuroko still read 4 chapters and asked Akashi to take notes. He certainly didn't miss how he seemed to enjoy the fact that Kuroko was reading to him. After about 40 minutes, Kuroko finished reading and gave Akashi extra 10 minutes to add anything he might have missed.

At the end, when Kuroko was just looking through the paper to see if he had missed any pages, he saw writing in red pen. He decided to ignore it for now and packed everything away. "I will see you soon, Akashi-kun. I look forward to our next lesson." And with just that, he left.

While on the bus home, Kuroko decided to look at the note left by Akashi. He was pleasantly surprised to see ‘Let’s go out shopping one day, Kuroko-kun.’ with several numbers written afterwards. A fond smile made its way onto his face as he saved the phone number into his phone – already wanting to text Akashi but stopping to not seem pushy.

* * *

On Friday, he talked with Kagami how he didn’t know whether Akashi and he should meet up outside of their lesson. Kagami stared at him dumbly before just saying “I’m not you. Make your mind up yourself.” Which he did and so, on Friday right after his afternoon classes, he texted Akashi.

**From: Kuroko Tetsuya**  
**To: Akashi-kun**  
**Time: 7:21**  
**Subject: Shopping.**  
**What day would you like to go shopping, Akashi-kun?**

**From, Kuroko Tetsuya.**

And he waited for a reply. He managed to eat his dinner with his family and take a quick shower. He was brushing and drying his hair when he received a message.

**From: Akashi-kun**  
**To: Kuroko**  
**Time: 8:20**  
**Subject: Shopping and coffee?**  
**I’m free all day tomorrow as Shintarou is visiting his relative in Akita. If you’re free, what would be the best time to meet up and where?**

Smiling at the answer, Kuroko locked his phone and continued drying his hair. He had no plans for tomorrow and he was meeting up with Kise, Aomine, and Kagami on Sunday to play some basketball.

**From: Kuroko**  
**To: Akashi-kun**  
**Time: 8:32**  
**Subject: Vanilla shake instead of coffee?**  
**I’m free too. We could meet up at around noon for dinner before we go shopping. How about we meet in front of the new bookstore they have opened up? Have you heard of it? I’ve never been there before but there’s a café on the top floor.**

The reply came almost instantly.

**From: Akashi-kun**  
**To: Kuroko**  
**Time: 8:33**  
**Subject: I guess we have a deal.**  
**I actually wanted to visit that bookstore so I guess I will see you tomorrow, Kuroko-kun.**

* * *

He could not sleep. Not. At. All.

Not only was he excited to finally get to see the bookstore but he also gets to hang out with Akashi for more than an hour which makes him feel… well, he isn’t sure what exactly it is that he’s feeling.

They would eat dinner and they would spend time together while shopping. Was a teacher and student supposed to do that? Then again, they were of the same age… nearly. Well it would be fine, wouldn’t it?

With just that in his mind, Kuroko tried to sleep.

* * *

Standing near the bookstore, Kuroko kept on looking down at his phone. Akashi hadn’t texted him today so there were no changes to their plans but Kuroko still felt anxious that something might have happened. His phone showed 12 and he immediately looked around. He was about to look down at his phone again when a shade of red caught his attention. When he took a better look, he saw how Akashi was waiting on the cross road, checking his phone and watch.

At least Kuroko wasn’t the only one to be anxious about the meeting. As he watched the other cross the road, he noticed a notebook in his hands and a pen was attached to the notebook. Did Akashi carry them at all times? His question was answered when Akashi walked up to him and lifted the notebook, scribbling something then handing it to Kuroko. ‘Sorry I’m late. There was a lot of traffic so my driver dropped me off on a car park just 5 minutes away from here.’

“It’s fine. I only got here a few minutes ago.” Kuroko smiled as he handed the notebook back to Akashi then looked over at the bookstore. “Should we get something at the café that’s on the top floor? We could drink the vanilla shakes there and also eat something light as to not stuff ourselves. We can eat something else while out shopping, alright?” He watched as Akashi glanced over at the bookstore as well before nodding his head, obviously agreeing with the idea as he started heading into the bookstore.

The way into the café was silent. It wasn’t an awkward silence but a comfortable one that Kuroko enjoyed. From the looks of it, Akashi must have enjoyed it too. Once at the café, the two sat down by a table after ordering their drinks and some toasted cheese and ham sandwiches. As soon as they sat down, Akashi started writing down in his notebooks. After a second of hesitation, he passed it to Kuroko. ‘I never tried a vanilla shake before. Nor did I ever have any sort of shake in my life.’

Kuroko looked up at Akashi to see if that was true and when he noticed how Akashi was curiously looking over at the milkshake machine, Kuroko knew it was true. “They taste great.” He spoke and watched as Akashi turned to look at him. “I drink them nearly every day. They’re the best at Maji burger where I and Kagami-kun go to after school. I meet there with Kise-kun and Aomine-kun on the weekends before or after we play basketball. It usually depends on when Kise’s photoshoot ends. Back to the milkshakes, vanilla ones are the best. They’re not too sweet or too filling. They’re just perfect.”  He then watched as Akashi started writing something down again with a smile on his face.

‘It seems like you’re very fond of vanilla milkshakes. I am excited to taste them now. Kise-kun as in Kise Ryouta? The famous model that is often talked about by nearly every girl in nearly every school? I’m quite surprised that you know such a person. No offence but you seem like the kind of person who isn’t very talkative and from what I’ve read, Kise-kun is very… talkative and hyper.’ Then, without letting Kuroko answer, he quickly took the notebook and added some more. ‘You play basketball? Do you have a basketball team in your school? If so, then we might go against each other during the Inter-High or Winter Cup.’

Kuroko was about to answer when a waiter interrupted them. “Here’s the milkshakes and toasted cheese and ham sandwiches. Enjoy your meal, ghost-chan and Akashi-kun” He grinned when the two looked up at a familiar looking raven haired male.

“Takao-kun. I thought you worked in Kyoto?” Kuroko asked as he watched Akashi wave at Takao and the other wave back. “How come you’re a waiter here?”

“Ah.” Takao rubbed the back of his neck as he grinned. “I got fired but I found a job here since they needed staff. I like this place better. There’s a bookstore just below us and I get a discount for both the café and the bookstore! Ah right, how come you two know each other?”

“I’m his new teacher… and how come you know Akashi-kun?”

“Well I knew his friend, Reo, and then I got introduced to Akashi since the two of them visit the restaurant which I worked at quite often. How’s Kise and Aomine? I haven’t seen them since we played in middle school. Those were some good times! I can’t believe how strong the 3 of you were together!” Takao smiled as he continued talking. “The two of us started playing back before middle school but then we went to different schools. You met Kise there, right? They’re some kind of prodigies if you ask me! The Inter-high is going to be amazing! I bet Shin-chan is already practicing his crazy shots!”

“All of us have some weird basketball talent so I’m not surprised that his shots are crazy. I hope I get to see them too. Kise-kun and Aomine-kun are fine. They still play one-on-ones together.” Kuroko smiled, noticing how Akashi scribbled something in his notebooks. ‘We should all get together one day and play some basketball. Get all our friends to meet each other. I think it would be quite fun.’

“That sounds great! I’ll ask Shin-chan when he’s free! Shit I need to get back to work! Chatting during work was what got me fired last time! I’ll call ya later!” Takao waved at them as he rushed to the other customers.

Sipping at his milkshake, Kuroko looked over at Akashi before speaking. “To answer your previous message, Kise-kun as in Kise Ryouta. I met him in middle school before he got famous. He saw me playing basketball in one of the gyms and got interested so we somehow became friends.” He smiled then started eating. Akashi didn’t write anything else.

* * *

After eating, the two browsed through the books in the library. While Kuroko looked through light novels, Akashi looked through mystery books. Kuroko made a mental note of that while he went to buy the newest light novel he wanted to get since last week. Afterwards, when looking through clothes, they both noticed how their styles were quite similar except that Akashi wore more red and black while Kuroko wore blue and white. Akashi even managed to convince Kuroko to wear a red dress shirt. With some slacks. Kuroko noticed the obvious interest in Akashi’s eyes as he eyed him from top to bottom. It made Kuroko’s heart beat like crazy and he quickly went back to the dressing room to hide his blush – Kagami’s words nagging him from the back of his mind.

The rest of the say was peaceful for them both. They finished shopping way before dinner (Kuroko secretly went back to get the red dress shirt because he had to admit, he liked it). They parted ways at about 5PM.

Once at home, Kuroko called Kagami, Kise, and Aomine to meet with him at Maji burger at 7.

* * *

“I luckily got out of my photoshoot early~ I told them it was urgent so they let me go~!” Kise grinned as he sat down next to Aomine, almost instantly grabbing his hand to hold. “Now, I’m guessing this is urgent as it couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

The three friends stared at Kuroko as he stared at his vanilla milkshake. The sight of Akashi smiling after tasting it flashing in his mind. “I have a problem.” He sighed and looked up at his friends. “I think I’m falling for Akashi-kun.”

“Just tell hi-“

“That’s not the way to do things.” Kise glared at Aomine as he held his hand on his mouth, successfully shutting the other up. “I already started suspecting that but you admitting it is kind of… weird. You are supposed to be his teacher but you’re also the same age. I think you should focus on becoming good friends before confessing. He might already like you back but if your relationship is based on romance only, it might not last long. Especially since we are only 16.”

“Hang out with him. You mentioned something about a library in his house before. Sit there with him and just spend time together. Go out for lunch sometimes. Do what you’re good at. Become friends with him.” Kagami spoke while glancing at his burgers – making sure Aomine wouldn’t grab any like he did last time.

“I guess I’ll just do that…” Kuroko mumbled as he watched Kagami slap Aomine’s hand away from his burgers. Kise mumbled how he will make sure Aomine doesn’t take any but Kuroko could tell it was an excuse to hold his hand.

He just had to become better friends with Akashi, right?


	10. Arc 1: Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko and Akashi hang out. Akashi meets Kuroko's friends and Kise ends up being a good company.

After his meeting with Kise, Aomine, and Kagami, Kuroko decided to come up with a few ideas of how he and Akashi could become better friends. He even contacted Midorima to ask him about what Akashi liked. Apparently, one of his team mates got him into light novels. Akashi also liked shogi and enjoyed reading mystery books. Their next lesson was spent learning maths (harder maths which Kuroko had to learn in order to teach it to Akashi). Their relationship as a teacher and student remained the same during class but now they even ended up communicating more freely. Kuroko even asked Akashi how school was and what he does in his free time.

“I was thinking of going out again. Maybe to the cinema this time since Kise-kun recommended this movie for me and it sounds great. All movies that Kise recommends end up being exceptionally good. This one is a musical. Into the woods, I think.” At the name of the movie, Akashi started writing in his notebook. ‘I think I remember hearing my father talking about the play. It was good enough for my father to go to and talk about during meetings so I think we should go watch it.’

And so they did.

* * *

“You wait over here while I get us some popcorn. You like salted, right?” Kuroko asked and as soon as Akashi nodded, he walked off to get popcorn. He ordered 2 medium salted popcorns and 2 bottle of water. On his way back, he saw a familiar male and immediately greeted them. “Oh! Kagami-kun. Himuro-san.” He watched as Kagami looked up from his phone and grinned at Kuroko.

“Are you here on a date?” Kagami asked and looked around, trying to see who Kuroko might have gone out with. “Two drinks and two popcorns… oh is it Akashi?” He looked as if he only remembered that Kuroko did have more friends than just Kagami, Kise, and Aomine.

“Yes. He’s just over there.” Kuroko nodded his head towards the seats near the screen entrances. “I really need to put this down so let’s go over to him.” He smiled and greeted Himuro who only looked up from his phone.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Kuroko-kun.” He smiled as they made their way over to Akashi who has been watching them all the time, slightly glaring at the two taller teens. “It’s been about 2 months since I’ve last seen you. You haven’t changed at all. I thought Taiga was talking to himself until I heard you speak.” Himuro smiled at Kuroko as he put his phone away, confirming something about the tickets they have just bought. There was no hint of apology in his words and Kuroko really didn’t mind. He was used to being not noticed.

“Yes it has been a while. Also, meet Akashi-kun. He’s my student as well as a friend. Akashi-kun, please meet Kagami-kun and Himuro-san. They’re my friends that I met during summer while playing street basketball with Takao-kun, Aomine-kun, and Kise-kun. Actually, I only knew Kagami-kun but he talked about Himuro-san so much I felt like I personally knew him. Let’s not forget that I usually have to help Kagami pack for their weekends.” Kuroko watched as Kagami blushed then how Akashi wrote down a greeting then turned to look at Kagami, leaving Akashi and Himuro to talk a little. “So what brings you here?”

“Oh we’re just here to see a movie you never want to watch. Himuro dragged me into it…” Kagami gave Kuroko a sheepish grin as he fished out his ticket from his back pocket. The words ’50 shades of Grey’ written on it.

Kuroko could only scowl. “You mean you’re here to watch the movie that promotes abuse and is not even a good book to read? I can’t believe you two are actually going to watch that. I expected you to want to watch Big Hero 6, which is actually a great movie with a great story and not sex, but not _this_.”

“Actually, Himuro dragged me into this while I wanted to watch Big Hero 6. Baymax is amazing. I even have a poster of him in my ro-“

“I saw it. No need to talk about it, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko smiled and felt as if someone was watching him. Observing his every move. When he glanced around, he only saw Himuro glancing at them before talking to Akashi again. “I already know what I’m going to get you for your birthday. I bet you will love it.”

Kagami stared at Kuroko before his eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you’re going to get me the -” Unfortunately, he was cut off by Kuroko shaking his head.

“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you.” With just that, Kagami turned to look at Himuro before walking over to him, already excitedly talking while Himuro just chuckled at Kagami’s enthusiasm.

After a while, they parted way to go to the correct screens. Akashi and Kuroko sat in a comfortable silence as they waited for the movie to start. During the movie, Kuroko glanced over at Akashi to ask him something when he noticed Akashi close to crying. Glancing back at the screen, Kuroko could already suspect why he wanted to cry. It made him feel uneasy that Akashi didn’t actually cry. Even he shed a few tears but Akashi looked like he was forcing himself to not cry.

* * *

“Ahahaha I can’t believe you went to see that movie this is amazing! I was sure you would never watch it! This is amazing I wish I was there to see your reaction!” Kise laughed as he listened to Kagami talk about him going to see 50 shades of Grey. Aomine even commented how he would prefer to look up everything that happened than see the movie (while hinting that he wants to try BDSM with Kise which of course, earning an inhuman noise from Kise which sounded like excitement and fear).

“It wasn’t that bad! Himuro even said it was quite entertaining. It could have been better but it was quite good.” Kagami groaned as he saw the teasing smirk on Kise’s face. Suddenly, Kise’s face turned to realisation as he remembered that the movie was an 18+

“How did you two even get in? He’s only 17 and you wouldn’t even be allowed to go in.” Kise frowned and glared at Kagami, already knowing that the two of them got in without much effort.

“Himuro knows a guy who works there and he got us tickets for free. They didn’t even check for ID.”

Kuroko listened to them talking while also thinking of the movie. The two went to a café for a milkshake to talk about what they thought of the movie and Akashi seemed a little distant and his answers were short and lacked that something. He hoped Akashi would feel better for their next lesson. “Kurokocchi?” Kise’s voice and his waving hand snapped Kuroko out of his thoughts. “Is everything alright?”

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine I was just thinking about the movie.” Kuroko sipped at his milkshake and watched as Kise ever so slightly scooted over to Aomine.

“Was it good? I loved it when I went to see it! I bet Akashicchi loved it too!” Kise grinned and leaned forward, his eyes practically gleaming as he watched Kuroko. “Even Aominecchi loved it, right?” He glanced over at Aomine who only nodded as he stuffed his mouth with Kagami’s burger (the second one he took so far).

“I really liked it. Akashi-kun said he enjoyed it but I feel like there was something he wasn’t telling me.” Kuroko shifted in his seat a little and sent Aomine a knowing look.

“What do yo-”

“Let’s go play some basketball now.” Aomine grabbed Kise’s hand and Kuroko could only gratefully sigh. He didn’t actually mind talking with Kise but he didn’t know what Akashi was telling him or why. He didn’t really feel comfortable talking about it…

* * *

They all played so that everyone paired up together at least once. Of course, Aomine and Kagami were the strongest together since Aomine could stop the vanishing drive and Kagami knew how the Phantom shot worked AND he could jump high enough. However, they were nearly crushed when Kise suddenly used Perfect Copy (they still lost since Aomine entered the zone… which annoyed Kagami because he couldn’t enter it.

Afterwards, they made plans to go out ice skating and Kise suggested that Kuroko should invite Akashi which… ended in quite a disaster.

* * *

As they got off the bus, Kise immediately went for Aomine’s hand who only grumbled and pulled Kise closer. They went all the way as to nearly beg Akashi to book an indoor ice ring for them so that they could have some privacy. Of course, Akashi agreed as it was no problem for an Akashi, was it?

“This is going to be so fun! I have no idea how to ice skate but I will just copy Daiki’s movements and it will be great. Can any of you ice skate?” Kise turned to look at Kagami, Kuroko, and Akashi… only to see Kuroko nod. “Ehh?? Only Kurokocchi and Daiki can ice skate? I guess Kurokocchi can teach Akashicchi so that leave Kagamicchi on his own! Daiki can teach yo-”

“Nah. It’ll be funnier if I don’t teach him.” And of course, Aomine was right as Kise always burst out laughing as Kagami slipped on the ice. Kise already caught on and was skating all around him when Kuroko slid past them while holding Akashi’s hand. Akashi was grasping onto Kuroko like his life depended on him even though he looked calm and did rather good. Or at least better than Kagami.

“I’m surprised Kagami-kun hasn’t given up yet. Even Aomine-kun feels like he should help you but he said he likes Kise-kuns laugh too much to help.” Kuroko smiled as he watched Kagami glare and slip yet again while Kise burst out laughing before slipping over himself. Just then, Aomine slid over to them but, not expecting Kise to fall, he tripped over the two and groaned as his hands hit the ice.

“Dammit Tetsu you caused this!” Aomine glared at Kuroko as he got up then glanced over at Akashi who looked like he was holding back a laugh. “Even Akashi finds this amusing! You two are devils!” He reached his hand out to help Kise get up only to be pulled back down, Kise laughing as Aomine landed on top of him.

“This was the best idea ever!” Kise continued laughing as Kagami fell while trying to get up. Just then, he turned to look at Kuroko. “You two haven’t slipped or fallen even once. It’s not fair.”

Kuroko only shrugged and turned to look at Akashi who smirked. “We’re being careful unlike you three.” Kuroko smiled at Kise when he suddenly felt something pull him down. When he looked over at the source of it, it was Akashi who was pulled down by Kagami in an attempt to get up. The two had fallen and Kise could only laugh as Kuroko landed on top of Akashi, both their faces nearly the same colour as Akashi’s hair.

“Now that we all have fallen at least once we should get hot chocolate.” Aomine pointed towards the small food court as soon as he got up. “We should get something to eat too since I’m starving!”

“You’re always starving though.”

“Can someone help me got up?!” Of course, no one helped Kagami and Kise only continued to laugh.

* * *

After their ice skating trip which Kagami refused to talk about Kise asked if they all wanted to go to Maji burger and play some basketball. When they did play, they all found out that Akashi was too good to play against and even Aomine struggled to win (he lost by one point once and sulked for 20 minutes).

The next week, Kuroko went out with Kise and Akashi shopping as Aomine and Kagami refused to spend half their day ‘just shopping.’

“So I’m signing this photo for the fan and she’s all like ‘I’ve got nearly all your albums and I’m only missing the latest one’ so I obviously feel bad and I tell her to wait a minute and get the album, sign it, and give it to her! She started crying and I had no idea what to do so I just hugged her but she cried even more and my manager had to tell me that I should just calm her down and talk to her and it worked!” Kise excitedly talked as Akashi listened, Kuroko trying on the shirt Akashi suggested.

Akashi, who carefully listened, started writing in his notebook before giving it to Kise. ‘I’m sure she was really happy. Getting an album for free from her favourite model must be amazing. You’re a great person, Kise-kun. I was a bit surprised that Kuroko-kun knew someone who seemed so loud and obnoxious but now I see that you’re just loud and kind.’ Kise grinned while reading it before his smile fell. “You though I was obnoxious?! I can’t believe Akashicchi would think of me this way!”

Akashi chuckled before writing in his notebook again. ‘Well I’m not very good with loud people and even my teammate seemed obnoxious before I got to know him. Now I know that he just has too much energy so I sometimes give him extra laps to run if he’s being too loud and it begins to give us all headaches.’

“You sound evil, Akashicchi. But I think that he doesn’t even realise he does extra laps as sometimes, during practice, I’m running laps and thinking about a photoshoot or Daiki and after I stop I realise that I ran extra 10 or 20 laps. I don’t even feel tired afterwards! It helps with my stamina and my special skill that I will use to beat you one day!”

They both stopped talking when Kuroko walked out with jeans and a baby blue dress shirt on – Kise amazed at how the clothes suited Kuroko so much and Akashi amazed at how stunning Kuroko looked.

* * *

**From: Kuroko Tetsuya**

**To: Akashi-kun**  
Time: 5:53  
Subject: Vanilla milkshake?

**I was wondering if we could go out somewhere this weekend**

**From: Akashi-kun**  
To: Kuroko  
Time: 6:04  
Subject: Yes but…

**I have a book I need to read this weekend so I won’t be able to go out until I read it. It’s for school and we have an exam on it on Monday. How about you come over and we sit in the library?**

**From: Kuroko Tetsuya**  
To: Akashi-kun  
Time: 6:17  
Subject: So no vanilla milkshakes?

**That sounds good. I saw a few books I actually wanted to read last time.**

**From: Akashi-kun**  
To: Kuroko  
Time: 6:21  
Subject: I’ll get my friend to make us some?

**I’ll see you this weekend then. Come over at any time. I’ll give you your book back as I finished it. I really liked it. The ending made me want to just throw the book away and not look at it again but I enjoyed it. I think the girl was amazing but to have nearly all of her books destroyed? I think I would never forgive the guys that did that to her.**

**From: Kuroko Tetsuya**  
To: Akashi-kun  
Time: 6:38  
Subject: Sounds good

**I knew you would enjoy it. I think I would have liked it if I found out what actually happened but not knowing is quite amazing. Would you like another book by him? I also have this book by him and another author. It’s written quite oddly but the books is amazing as well. Has two guys with the same name and then they meet.**

**From: Akashi-kun**  
To: Kuroko  
Time: 6:45  
Subject: Can’t wait

**That does sound quite interesting. Bring it with you then.**

Kuroko smiled at the text before putting his phone away, walking into his afternoon class. He couldn’t wait to meet with Akashi again.


	11. Arc 1: Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So I'll be holding my breath, right up 'til the end  
> Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
> 
> Cause nobody wants to be the last one there  
> Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares  
> Someone to love with my life in their hands  
> There's gotta be somebody for me like that  
> Cause nobody wants to do it on their own  
> And everyone wants to know they're not alone  
> There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere  
> There's gotta be somebody for me out there"

Akashi let out a shaky breath as soon as he turned the lights in his room on – blinking at the sudden brightness. Checking the time, he fell back onto his bed and ran a hand through his hair, gratefully sighing at the fact that he still had time to sleep before he had to get ready for when Kuroko came over. Just the thoughts of Kuroko made his heart race and his head hurt from the memories of their time together and it made him angry because he should not be feeling that way.

Turning the lights off again, Akashi rolled onto his side and stared at the moon shining through his window. The memories flashing in his mind as he tried to fall back to sleep but all he could see was the gentle smiles. The soft hands and the softly spoken words and it truly scared Akashi how similar everything seemed to be. He blocked out the voice that nagged him from the back of his mind and closed his eyes – trying to fall back to sleep.

After 30 minutes of thoughts running through his mind and making him wide awake he decided to give up on sleeping and to have a 3AM walk into his gardens. He was glad that the staff working with him had allowed him to roam the mansion whenever he pleased as long as he didn't go over to his father’s rooms (which filled 1/3 of the house). Putting his favourite hoodie over his top, Akashi put his shoes on, grabbed a pair of headphones and headed out of the room, lighting his way with his phone. He could turn the lights on as it wasn’t unusual for him to do so at ungodly hours of the night but tonight he wanted to be truly alone. Alone with the darkness that surrounds him.

Arriving at the garden 10 minutes later, Akashi put his headphones on and played the only song that managed to soothe him no matter where he was or how he felt. The song his mother would play with him. They would take turns playing the violin and piano and just enjoying each other's presence while Spiegel im Spiegel filled nearly every corner of the room (of course his mother wanted everyone to hear the music they played so she installed speakers). The times before her death always seemed so peaceful and even after becoming ill, Akashi would play the song for her on the violin he got for his 5th birthday.

Akashi didn't know how long he's been staring at the garden his mother tended when a hand tapped his shoulder – successfully snapping him out of his daydream. His butler - the only person that saw him at his worst - smiling down at him. Taking off his headphones, he moved over to make space for the other - the one who worked at the mansion long before he was born. "I'm guessing you couldn't fall back to sleep.” He spoke in a calm voice and smiled down at Akashi, not showing any signs of actually sitting down. “That's fine but I was informed that Kuroko-kun will be visiting you today so you should get some more sleep. It's just past 4 so let’s get you back to your room, young master."

Taking a deep breath, Akashi stood up and nodded at the butler, a small smile on his face. As they made their way into the house, Akashi glanced once again at the garden, expecting to see his mother waving at him just like she used to whenever he was finished with his lesson – ready to play basketball with her and sometimes, if she was feeling too sick, play the violin for her. "She was a lovely woman. I'm sure she would be proud of who you grew up to be. She always found an excuse to get out of her meetings just to teach you basketball. She even insisted on watching you play when she was ill." He smiled, glancing at Akashi who was already looking at him. The younger of the two obviously wanting to know more about his mother. To know more than what his memories told him – especially since there only ever seemed to be small fragments that he could remember.

Without even realising, Akashi found himself by his room's door and he turned to look at his butler. "Sleep some more, Seijuurou. I'm sure you won't have any more nightmares tonight." The man smiled, his eyes tired. He probably was woken up by one of the maids after seeing Akashi. He never complained and would wake up at any hour to take care of him.

Akashi nodded his head and gently bit his lip, wanting to thank his butler but –

 

**_It's your fault_ **

****

\- he stopped himself and just nodded, gently bowing his head before walking into his room. The voice echoed in the back of his mind as he took off his hoodie and placed his headphones back. Laying down on the bed, he let sleep take over him - hoping to have the rest of the night as peaceful as possible.

* * *

"I'm sure you look fine, young master." Akashi's butler fixed the red hair (yet again_ as Akashi ran a hand through it again. "Just remember to not be so open about your feelings near your father since he might look down on them." That surprised Akashi.

Widening his eyes every-so-slightly, Akashi looked at his butler. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? I've spent more time with you than your father has and your mother even told me about your habits. You would always mess up your hair when you were nervous. You want to leave a good impression on Kuroko-kun, right? Your feelings towards him are quite obvious to the point where even Midorima-kun has pointed them out to me." Shaking his head, the butler smiled at Akashi who only shifted in his seat, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

'I can't help who I end up liking. I can control my feelings quite well around Kuroko-kun so I'm sure he won't find out. Especially since he doesn't even like me back.' Akashi glared at his trembling hand as he handed his notebook to his butler. He hated it. He hated showing any form of weakness around others. He promised himself to stop being weak. He promised to do it for his mother. "I'm sure things will be fine." The gentle voice and the fact that Akashi knew how much his butler cared made his heart sting. He hated it. It made him feel vulnerable and an Akashi was never vulnerable. His father taught him to always be... perfect.

"You should be yourself, Seijuurou-kun." His butler only used his name when he was serious and when Akashi had been left with no choice but listen because the real him yearned for the words of comfort. "I'm not the one to go against your father but what he speaks is nonsense. He changed after Shiori's death. He still cares for you and wants the best for you but a part of him died with Shiori and we can’t change that. At least let yourself be free around Kuroko-kun. I know he means a lot to you."

For the first time in ten years, Akashi truly wanted to cry but the voice in the back of his head stopped him - not letting him show any weakness. What Akashi Seijuurou hated the most was his other self. The one that was born after his mother's death. The one that was born out of blame.

* * *

Sitting in the library, Akashi studied the book Kuroko had given him. Apparently it was supposed to be really hard to get into but once a few chapters are read, it should be easy to read. 'I'll start reading it on Monday.' Akashi passed his notebook to Kuroko before placing the book next to him, picking up the book which he was supposed to read.

He made sure to have the vanilla milkshakes in by 1 (it was already 12) and then they could have their lunch. "I'm sure you will like it. I have a few other books you should read but let’s talk about that after you finish your book for school." Kuroko smiled and Akashi couldn't help but compare it to his mother's smile. A gentle and soft smile that made him want to smile back - which he did.

'I've nearly finished the book so we should hopefully be able to talk about books during our lunch. I asked the chief to make us simple sandwiches as he wanted to make us a big dinner for later. I had to tell him you wouldn't be able to eat so much to convince him to not make us way too much food.' Akashi watched Kuroko read his writing before immediately passing the notebook back - something he did all the time, obviously wanting to talk with him more.

"I'm glad then since I'm only feeling a little bit hungry. I'm also glad to see you writing more freely now." At that, Akashi raised a brow. "You always seemed to be tense when writing things for me." Kuroko explained and picked up his own book. "Let’s go back to reading then, shall we?"

And so they did.

* * *

The sandwiches tasted amazing and even Kuroko managed to eat his. Akashi expected him to at least leave 1 since his chief thought that sandwiches were a good idea as long as they had 8 to share (even Akashi barely ate his part but he had to admit, the sandwiches were delicious). "I can't believe I just ate so much. I think I know why Kagami-kun and Aomine-kun always manage to eat so much. If you like something, you might as well eat a lot." Kuroko looked up at Akashi who only smiled.

Looking around for his pen, Akashi ignored the pounding in his heart. "Here you go." Kuroko's voice made him slightly calm down and when he looked up, he was holding the pen out. Reaching his own hand out, Akashi made sure to brush his fingers against Kuroko's just to give his heart some peace and to stop making him want Kuroko. 'I'm glad you like them and I don't think they eat that much. At least compared to one of my teammates. He definitely eats more than Aomine-kun and Kagami-kun.'

Handing the notebook to Kuroko, Akashi watched Kuroko's eyes read his writing. He noticed how Kuroko's lips formed a small smile and how he looked up at him. His eyelashes weren't as long as his own but they definitely made Kuroko's eyes look prefect. The blue that matched his hair reflected the light around them and Akashi couldn't help but stare. It was the most amazing blue he has ever seen and he wanted to stare into those eyes forever.

He saw how Kuroko's eyebrows furrowed in worry and how his lips moved but he couldn't hear the words. His heart was pounding and the voice in his head grew louder and louder. More dangerous with every second.

 

**_You'll ruin his life._ **  
**_He will never like you back._ **  
**_Don't do it! You'll just end up hurt again!_ **

 

But Akashi pushed all the thoughts away and let his mind get filled with how Kuroko leaned forward, his eyes focusing on Akashi and his lips slightly parted. "Akashi-kun?" He was worried and Akashi realised that maybe he couldn't control his feelings because the next thing he saw was Kuroko laying below him - Akashi pinning his arms down. Kuroko was looking up at him with wide eyes, a visible blush on his cheeks and Akashi tried to stop himself.

He shut his eyes and tried to push all his emotions away and bring that annoying voice back when he felt something soft on his lips. A familiar taste and smell of vanilla filled his mind and he let his feelings take over as he kissed back. His hands moving to hold onto Kuroko's to know that he was there and that he wasn't dreaming. He grasped at his hands and pulled away, quiet pants escaping his mouth as he realised what has happened. 

  
When he opened his eyes, he saw Kuroko smiling, a blush on his face and Akashi felt himself smile. Resting his forehead against Kuroko's forehead he let out a shaky breath. The voice suddenly back in his mind - warning him to **_stop_** \- but Akashi didn't care. He just wanted to spend more time with Kuroko. To remain in their own world between them.

The voice inside his head grew more irritating as it repeated the same words over and over again **_‘You’ll get hurt and you’ll hurt him. Stop it. Stop it!’_** but Akashi just wanted to be happy, even if the voice told him it won’t last forever.

The voice stopped.

The room grew silent and Akashi lifted his head to look at Kuroko - appreciating the sudden shock as a broken whisper left his lips. "I like you."


	12. Arc 1: Final chapter (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko seeks advice and then the meeting with Akashi's father happens. Another cliffhanger awaits!!

Kuroko stared at the ceiling, the events of the afternoon repeating themselves in his mind. After Akashi’s confession, Kuroko had no idea what was more shocking. The fact that he spoke after 10 years or whether the fact that Akashi liked him back. His heart and mind argued about the importance of each other and he just tried to shut them both out. He wanted to clear his thought but the small smile on Akashi’s lips and the faint blush refused to leave.

_“I need to leave now.” Kuroko breathed out when Akashi stared at him – expecting something else. “I’m sorry. I- I don’t know what to think. I need to get home.” He couldn’t breathe and his voice was raspy. Wasn’t it Akashi who has not spoken in 10 years? Just why did he feel like it was him?_

_Akashi simply nodded his head and moved away from Kuroko – keeping his distance which hurt Kuroko. The pain was obvious on his face and he didn’t seem very shocked about the fact that he has just spoken. Packing his stuff, Kuroko rushed out of the room. He didn’t say ‘bye’ nor did he look back. Akashi stayed in the library, standing up and looking down at his trembling hands._

He considered telling Midorima that Akashi spoke again but how would he explain that the words he heard were a love confession? The heir to the Akashi Company just simply could not fall in love with the same gender. He was supposed to marry a wonderful woman of a high status not a high schooler who wanted to become a teacher! Feeling a headache coming, Kuroko pulled the covers over himself and tried to fall asleep – just wanting to forget the day’s events.

The next morning, however, he woke up with a migraine and the first thing he could think of, was to text Kise, Aomine, and Kagami to come over. He also implied how it was an emergency since he really needed advice.

* * *

Kagami and Aomine couldn’t come as they both had to study for an upcoming exam that Kise has already studied for. They met up at Maji Burger at around 11AM. Kise ordered a burger and a milkshake while Kuroko ordered small fries and a milkshake. As they sat down, Kuroko began to explain what has happened while taking small breaks to sip at his vanilla milkshake. After finishing the story, he was halfway through his milkshake while Kise has finished his burger.

“So… Basically, Akashicchis has spoken after 10 years and you don’t want to mention a thing because those words were a confession… directed at you.” Kise pointed at Kuroko to emphasise his words, his mind beginning to understand why it was an issue.

“I just don’t know what to do. I was the one to initiate the kiss but I didn’t expect him to suddenly go ahead and start speaking! This isn’t The Little Mermaid where only a kiss can bring back the voice.” Kuroko ran a hand through his hair before eating a fry. He then continued as Kise slowly sipped at his strawberry milkshake. “I even forgot to tell him how I feel which makes it even worse because what if he’s in his room, waiting for me to text him and ask to meet up so I can tell him how I feel?”

Kise slowly nodded his head before sighing. “Well, does anyone else apart from me know that he has spoken?” He wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to people who had not spoken for longer than a day (Aomine once didn’t speak to him for a day after Kise ignored Aomine just to watch a TV show). “You could ask someone who is closer to him rather than someone who barely knows him.”

“I could talk with Mibuchi-kun but I saw how they interacted and if Shige-kun suddenly spoke after 10 years, I would freak out. Who wou- Ah!” Kuroko suddenly straightened up and gently smiled. “I could speak to Midorima-kun.” Upon seeing the confusion on Kise’s face, he continued.  “He’s his doctor, well, not exactly a professional doctor but a student that helps a different doctor but he is a rather calm person. I heard they play shogi so it should be fine, right?”

Grinning, Kise leaned across the table to ruffle Kuroko’s hair who in return, fixed it immediately. “Well, there you go. Found you’re answer! Talk with the Midorima guy and find out what you should do. Oh and don’t forget to tell Akashi how you feel. His first words were a confession so if I were him, I would be pretty anxious right now – especially since you left him so suddenly.” He frowned a little as he remembered his confession… Aomine took his damn time replying after running off with an excuse of a basketball match.

“I will… after I see Midorima-kun. Also, did you really study for the test or did you come here because you knew I needed help?” Kuroko frowned as Kise momentarily froze while taking some of Kuroko’s fries.

“I can’t just let my friend stay bothered, can I?”

Kuroko sighed before offering a small smile to Kise, of course he would do something like that. Bakagami and Ahomine couldn’t afford to lose a minute of studying... especially after their senpai insisted on teaching them (Aomine even said he would study every day if it meant Imayoshi-free study sessions). “Kasamatsu-san won’t be happy, you know that, don’t you?”

* * *

After getting back home from his meeting with Kise, Kuroko decided that he should meet with Midorima as soon as possible. After making sure that Midorima knew it was an emergency and getting to meet him in 2 days at the train station, he took his time to figure out his feelings. He did like Akashi and he definitely wanted him to know. All that was left was how he was supposed to tell the people that worked with Akashi. Surely, they would understand but… would they really understand? The next day he kept on thinking of what he would say to Midorima and he gave up on studying to research some stuff he and Midorima talked about before.

By the time they had to meet, Kuroko was more than aware of what could have happened to Akashi when he was younger… and the fact that it might happen again made him shiver.

At 10 O’clock sharp, Midorima approached Kuroko in front of the train station. “Kuroko.”

“Midroima-kun. I’m sorry if you were busy today but as I mentioned in the text, it is an emergency.” Kuroko gently bowed his head and they both made their way to the nearby bench where not many people seemed to be around – which was a perfect place for them to talk.

Midorima scoffed, he was obviously not happy with Kuroko. “If it involves Akashi then get straight to the point since he hasn’t left his room since your last visit.” Kuroko finally understood why Midorima didn’t seem too happy with him. “If I remember correctly, it happened 3 days ago so he hasn’t left his room for 3 days straight.”

“Kise-kun was right then… Has he been eating?” He was worried. He was worried and he was surprised that he hasn’t took his phone out to text Akashi yet. Just how could he not go out of his room because of a confession? Then again, it was Akashi…

“Of course he has. He wouldn’t let himself get sick. At least I hope he wouldn’t but he has been eating well and his butler said that although obviously upset, he’s doing well.”

Upon hearing the hint of worry in Midorima’s voice, Kuroko remembered why it made him worry. “Ah, I see. That’s good to hear. I should say that I am the cause of him not leaving his room.”

“I guessed that much. Kuroko, you were supposed to be there for him but now you made him stay in his room? You know we don’t want him to-”

“I know.” He didn’t want to hear it again. Hearing it once as fine but now that he has fallen for Akashi, it would be harder to hear those words again. “I know but I wasn’t in the right state of mind and I bet you wouldn’t be. He confessed to me, Midorima-kun.”

“I already figured out he liked you but I don’t see why a confession would be bad… unless, you don’t like him back.” Kuroko blinked. Of course Midorima knew Akashi liked him. Most people knew that. A confession wasn’t that surprising, was it?

“What? No. No, I like him. I really do I need to tell him that but I didn’t go out because of a confession. I- The problems was-”

“Kuroko. We don’t have time when it comes to Akashi.”

Taking a deep (and shaky) breath, Kuroko let his emotions go. If he were to say this clearly and without any doubt, he had to be blunt about what he thought.  “He _spoke_ to me. His first words after 10 years were a confession. We kissed and had this really lovey-dovey moment when he suddenly told me he liked me! I had no idea what to do. I had to get out because I was in too much shock. I know I’m late to say that he spoke but his words were a confession and I doubt his father would be happy about that.”

Midorima was obviously shocked but thankfully (for Kuroko) he understood the situation clearly and he knew that making a fuss about Akashi speaking now would only make Kuroko unwilling to talk. He obviously was conflicted as it was and Midorima wasn’t harsh enough to confuse Kuroko even more. Instead, he opted for solving the problem first. “His father is rather strict but he does care about his son too. Maybe he doesn’t show it well but he wants the best for Akashi and if you can get him to speak after 10 years, I doubt he wouldn’t let you date Akashi. It’s not as complicated as you think, Kuroko.”

“I-” A shake of his head was enough to stop Kuroko and Midorima continued.

“We all care for Akashi and as long as you are the hope to getting him to begin speaking, we will accept most things that happen between you two.”

“What if I only managed to get him to say those words? What if he won’t speak again?”

Midorima sighed and Kuroko knew what would be mentioned. He wasn’t ready to hear those words again. “Kuroko, listen, I told you before that after his mother’s death, Akashi nearly died. I met him when he was in hospital and he did not look human. He looked like he had really died back then. He was still in shock after his mother’s death and he stopped speaking. The fact that he spoke after meeting you and the fact that he spoke to you means that you are our only hope. We couldn’t find out why he stopped speaking and we tried everything to get him to speak once again. You came along and made it possible. You need to understand that this is a serious thing and if you want to help Akashi, you won’t let the relationship between you two stop from providing that help for him. If anything, the relationship may help you more.”

It hurt. Kuroko couldn’t stand the thought that Akashi might have died back then. He has fallen in love with Akashi and he has fallen deep.

“I understand. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to tell his father.”

“You will surely find a way to find your voice. Just like you found Akashi’s.” Kuroko swore that he saw Midorima smile and those words were enough to encourage him to call Akashi and arrange a meeting with his father.

* * *

The meeting was due 2 days after Kuroko met up with Midorima. The time seemed to fly by and Kuroko was soon waiting outside of Akashi’s room, waiting for him to come out. When he did, they both started making their way towards Akashi-san’s office. Kuroko noticed how Akashi was wearing a simple grey hoodie which… made him look really attractive and Kuroko had to stop himself from staring. Especially since Akashi’s hair had this messy yet amazing look (Kuroko swore Akashi could pull off anything and still look hot) “I’m sorry for leaving like that and just going out. I was in too much shock.”

Akashi didn’t even glance at Kuroko as he handed him the notepad. ‘It’s fine.’

Kuroko sighed and handed it back, noticing how Akashi momentarily looked at him and he didn’t miss how Akashi avoided letting their fingers touch. “No it’s not. I want to make up for it but we need to have the meeting first. I have a few things I need to tell your father. I hope that you don’t mind.”

Akashi shook his head and soon they both found themselves in Akashi-san’s office. As they walked in, Kuroko shook hands with him and sat down in the chair by the desk. Akash sat on the chair next to him while Akashi-san sat in his own chair.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kuroko-kun. I have been informed that you have a few things you wanted to talk about. It’s also good to know that Seijuurou has decided to leave his room after 5 days.” Out of the corner of his eye, Kuroko saw Akashi ever so slightly tense up. He refrained himself from frowning.

However, he wouldn’t let it look like Akashi did it on a whim. He had a reason and that reason was Kuroko. “I’m glad that we could have this talk so soon. I would like to mention that I’m the cause of your son’s refusal to leave his room. After our last meeting I left him in a hurry without considering his feelings and I realise that I might have hurt him.”

Akashi quickly turned to look at him and went to writing straight away. Akashi’s father simply watched them and waited. ‘It’s fine, Kuroko-kun. It was my choice to stay in my room’

Kuroko only shook his head. He guessed Akashi would say that and he wasn’t about to give in. He would talk more with Akashi later but firstly, he had an important meeting to make into a success. “It’s not fine, Akashi-kun. As you said, Akashi-san, I have a few things to talk about and the first thing is that I like your son and secondly, he likes me too. I hope it wouldn’t be too much of a problem considering the third thing I came to talk about.”

Akashi-san raised a brow. He leaned forward in his chair and his cold gaze nearly made Kuroko shiver. “You’re asking if I will let you date my son? You do realise that he is the one and only heir to the Akashi company and he needs someone that will definitely will be with him to support him. What is the third thing?” Something seemed to flicker in his eyes but Kuroko dismissed that. He got over with the first part and now was the second part.

“You see, Akashi-san, I have talked with Midorima-kun 2 days ago and I came to realise that us dating wouldn’t be a problem. Especially since Akashi-kun ha-”

“I spoke.” The quiet and hoarse voice made Kuroko suddenly stop and he and Akashi’s father both looked over at the owner of the voice.

“A-Akashi-kun?”

“Seijuurou?”

Akashi glanced at Kuroko – obviously uncomfortable with the attention. Kuroko smiled before turning to look at Akashi’s father. Akashi had given him an opportunity and he wouldn’t let it go to waste. “Right, Akashi-san. Your son was the one to confess first. His confession was the first thing he has spoken in 10 years and although it may sound like I want to date him just to help him, I truly care about your son and even if he hasn’t spoken, I would still wish to date him. The fact that he has spoken gives us an opportunity to help Akashi-kun and I request that you allow us to date while I help him with his studies and speech.”

Akashi’s father cleared his throat. Kuroko noticed the flicker in his eyes again. “I’m glad that you had such an impact on my son but that doesn’t change that he’s the heir to the Akashi Company. You’re asking me if the two of you can date. My answer is…”

The room grew quiet and Akashi and Kuroko held their breath as they heard the answer…

 


	13. Arc 1: Final chapter (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroko stays the night and Akashi begins to tell his story.  
> Arc 2 previews included.

Akashi’s father cleared his throat. Kuroko noticed the flicker in his eyes again. “I’m glad that you had such an impact on my son but that doesn’t change that he’s the heir to the Akashi Company. You’re asking me if the two of you can date. My answer is…”

The room grew quiet and Akashi and Kuroko held their breath as they heard the answer…

“Yes. I can tell you will support my son and I see no reason as to why the two could not date. However, if I see that you are having a negative effect on Seijuurou’s health, I will not only have you break up with my son but you will not be allowed to work with him as his teacher.”

“What?” Kuroko blinked and felt himself smile. “Thank you very much, Akashi-san. I will take care of your son.” He looked over at Akashi who already had a small grin directed at him and oh god it made Kuroko’s heart skip a beat… or even a few.

“As for Seijuurou speaking again, I will have Midorima and his father come tomorrow to talk with Seijuurou.” Akashi-san then turned to look at Akashi. “Don’t feel forced to speak yet as you can take your time. I’m just glad you finally began speaking again.” Kuroko finally noticed what that flicker in Akashi-san’s eye was. Happiness. He really cared for his son even if he wasn’t the best father out there. “Feel free to stay the night Kuroko-kun as you will be needed for the session and it is quite late.”

“Thank you for everything, Akashi-san.” Kuroko smiled and when he looked at Akashi to ask him if they should go to his room, he noticed him playing with the hem of his shirt.

“…Th-Thank you, father.” Although barely above a whisper, everyone heard it loud and clear. Akashi-san faintly smiled as the two left the room, making their way into Akashi’s room.

* * *

“This… this went better than I had expected.” Kuroko muttered as they both sat on Akashi’s bed. Akashi was sitting cross-legged, facing Kuroko and smiling while Kuroko was laying down on his side, his head supported by his arm and hand. “I’m glad it went like this though.” He smiled up at Akashi then laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.

He felt Akashi shift and soon saw him hovering above him. The faint smile still visible on his lips and his eyes showing obvious happiness. He didn’t need to speak for Kuroko to understand how he felt. Leaning down, they slowly kissed. Akashi was supporting his weight on his arms that he held on both sides of Kuroko while Kuroko had wrapped one of his hands around Akashi and ran his other hand through the (not so surprisingly) soft red locks. The kiss was slow but passionate and the first one to pull away (or rather had to gently push away the other) was Kuroko as Akashi didn’t seem to want to stop soon.

As soon as they stopped, Akashi laid next to Kuroko, holding onto his hand. It felt cold but this time, Kuroko was reassured that this was real and Akashi trusted him. Using his hand to brush aside some of Akashi’s bangs aside, Kuroko watched as Akashi took slow breaths. His eyes were shut and he couldn’t help but admire the long eyelashes (that he found very attractive. He just found everything about Akashi attractive.)

“I think I should say this now since I never did. I like you too, Akashi-kun.” They stayed like that until Akashi’s butler walked in with their supper (sandwiches with cheese and ham with a vanilla milkshake each).

* * *

After they had eaten, Kuroko decided to look around Akashi’s room while the latter decided to read a book (or rather, Kuroko really wanted him to finish it so they could talk about it). As he made his way towards the desk, he picked up the 6 notebooks and looked at the 6th one. The cover had no damage on it unlike the other ones (the 4 th one now had bent corners and the 5 th one looked like someone tried to burn it). Deciding to wait for Akashi to maybe one day mention it, he decided to set the 6 th one aside. When he looked up, he saw a stack of CDs on the far left corner of the desk. Kuroko noticed how the CDs went from Taylor Swift to My Chemical Romance and then to Nicki Minaj… which really surprised him as Akashi didn’t seem like the type to even listen to this kind of music (he even saw Fall Out Boy and Ed Sheeran there).

After finishing looking at all the CDs Akashi had, Kuroko decided to ask about the notebooks. “Akashi-kun… What happened to these notebooks?”

When Akashi looked up, he looked confused. “Why?” His voice broke at the end and Kuroko sighed. He was obviously trying to get used to talking again now that he could.

“Don’t strain yourself too much. And I’m just curious. These two got more damaged since I last saw them. Who did it?”

“Bring all 6 here.” And Kuroko did as asked. Not wanting Akashi to use his voice too much at once, he brought the usual notebook and a pen over. Akashi grabbed the pen and began writing.

‘I did all the damage to them. I didn’t get to do what I wanted with them since I was stopped every time. I did most of it without thinking and I usually ended up messing something up. When I tried to break the 3rd one, I broke my nail. When I tried to burn one I nearly burnt my hand. I didn’t even realise what has happened until my butler took the book and poured water over it. He wasn’t pleased with what happened and took my lighter away. Now whenever I want to light a candle or incense I have to ask him to do it for the next month.’ Well, that certainly surprised Kuroko. After reading it, he noticed the small writing below. ‘I also nearly hit myself while trying to rip on apart. They’re harder to rip than you would expect.’ At that, Kuroko couldn’t help but laugh.

“But why did you do it?” He asked and watched as Akashi hesitated a little before writing.

When handing the notebook over, he glanced away towards his nightstand. ‘It’s a long story. If I just told you why you wouldn’t understand. I’d have to tell you everything and I don’t want to keep you up.’

“It’s fine that you don’t want to tell me but please don't tell me you go to sleep at 9.” Kuroko deadpanned as he looked at the clock on Akashi’s nightstand. It wasn’t even 9. It was 8:30 and that was a ridiculous time to go to sleep at! “If you do then I think I will sit in the library until I get tired.” He blinked and stared at Akashi who only shook his head before handing the notebook back again. When did he take it?

‘I go to sleep after midnight and still end up waking up during the night. I just didn’t expect you to stay up late. Since that’s the case, I might as well tell you why I tried to damage the notebooks so much. I’ll include everything though so if you’re not ready to hear it, please tell me. If you are, then could you pass me the box from my bookcase? The red one with a black bow.’ Kuroko didn’t hesitate in taking the box.

When he set it down on the bed, they both sat opposite each other with the box and notebooks in-between them. It was surprising that Akashi was willing to talk about himself and maybe Kuroko would find out the things which they all needed to know. Maybe they will all be finally able to understand Akashi.

Slowly, Akashi untied the bow on the box and slowly opened it. Inside the box were pictures. The whole box was quite large and it was filled with photos. There were even small boxes with memory cards and Akashi had grabbed his phone (that was plugged into a charger). After taking out a memory card box with the number 1 on it, he switched it with his current one. While waiting for the videos to load, he began writing in the notebook. His hands were shaking but his face was blank. When Kuroko caught his eyes, he saw a hint of sadness and he knew what was coming.

He was about to hear about Akashi’s past. His whole past.

When given the notebook, Kuroko began reading…

_‘When my mother first learned she was pregnant with me, she wrote every little detail in a diary. After her death, the diary was given to me and when reading it, I realised that my father and I were all she cared about. My father did all of her paperwork and they both made sure she was healthy which therefore meant I would be healthy. Once they found out I was a boy, they were overjoyed. My mother mentioned how she would have loved me all the same no matter what gender I was._

_After giving birth to me, her and my father both cried. They had already prepared my room and I was supposed to sleep there but my mother insisted on me staying in their room…”_

**End of Arc 1**

* * *

 

**Arc 2 previews:**

“Masaomi! Sei-chan and I were supposed to go shopping for some new clothes for him. You know we can’t just send our butler to do it all the time and we need to learn what Sei-chan prefers. He may be 4 but he does have his likes and dislikes.” Shiori frowned as Masaomi informed her of all the paperwork she was supposed to get done for the next day.

Masaomi only sighed. “You need to finish your paperwork and Seijuurou has a violin lesson scheduled to start in an hour. You can take him shopping next time. Just not today.”

“Oh you always say that. ‘Seijuurou has to do this’ and ‘Seijuurou needs to do that.’ He’s only 4 and he needs to have time to play. You even scolded him for playing with his food last night! Let him have some freedom, Masaomi. This is too much to expect of a 4 year old. Let us have time to bond.” Shiori shook her head and brushed back the bangs that fell onto her face. “I’ve been wanting to play with him for the past two weeks but there’s always paperwork and lessons. If this continues I will go to my mother’s house for a month with Seijuurou for what I would call a well-deserved break.”

“Fine. From now on there will be no lessons or paperwork on Wednesdays and Saturdays. However, if there are any important deadlines, I expect you to finish your work before playing with Seijuurou.”

“I’m glad you finally understood.” She smiled and hugged Masaomi but soon had to go as Seijuurou began crying (probably over the fact that he wasn’t allowed to see Yukimaru again as she was resting).

* * *

“How was your first day of school, Sei-chan?” Shiori asked as she looked up from her work. In front of her desk, stood a grinning Seijuurou – still wearing his hat and backpack.

“It was great! I saw Reo in the class next to mine! We even started learning more maths but I thought it was quite easy. We even got time to draw and play! Ah, right! I drew something for you!” Seijuurou took off his backpack and took out a colourful piece of paper out of it. There were 3 stickmen on it. 2 had red hair while 1 had brown. They were all playing basketball. “Do you like it?” He peeked out from behind the drawing with wide eyes.

“I love it! I’ll have to put it up in here, won’t I? My Sei-chan is a little artists, isn’t he~! Get changed out of your uniform and I’ll see you outside to play some basketball, okay?”

“Yes, mama!” He grinned and gave his mother a kiss before running out of the room, giggling as he continued to run back to his room.

* * *

“Is mama okay?” Seijuurou tugged at Masaomi’s sleeve as they sat in a car. They were on their way to visit Shiori in the hospital as she had been taken there from work. Upon hearing that, Masaomi told Seijuurou to go into the car while he grabbed his keys and phone.

“She’ll be fine, Seijuurou. Don’t worry.” He smiled down at him and they both impatiently waited until they got into the hospital. Once there, Seijuurou was allowed to see his mother while his father talked with the doctors.

“Sei-chan? How come you’re here?” Shiori asked as he climbed onto her bed and hugged her.

“Dada got our driver to take us here after he got a phone call. Is mama okay?” He asked as he held her hand with his tiny one.

Biting her lip, Shiori felt a tear rolled down her cheek. “Yes, mama is fine.” She smiled and wiped her cheek. “Mama is fine.”

* * *

The first thing that Seijuurou saw was white. Then grey lines that divided all the white. A ceiling. He blinked before looking around the room. A hospital. He was in a hospital… in a bed. His head was killing him and the beeping machine next to his bed only pissed him off. After looking at the calendar on the stand next to his bed, he realised he was passed out for a day. That meant that it’s been 5 days since his 13th Birthday. Reo had probably tried to call him several times and Midorima probably knew where he was anyway.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door open. His father had just walked in and Seijuurou watched as he approached him and stood near the bed.

“You don’t speak for 6 years and now this? This cannot continue, Seijuurou. We already have professional doctors working around you but this is ridiculous. I contacted your friend and your butler and found out you haven’t been eating for the past 5 days. This is what happens when I leave for business? Think about your actions and who they might influence. Do it at least once, son.”

****_Don’t listen to him._  
He just cares about what it makes him look like.  
Make him leave! 

Seijuurou looked away, a blank look on his face. If his father didn’t worry, that meant the voice in his head was right. Besides, Seijuurou was the best at pushing people away. Even his father would leave him at one point.

****_It’s better that way._  
You won’t get hurt.  
Neither will them. 

 The next thing he heard was he click of the door as his father left the room. 


	14. Arc 2: Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events that occur in the Akashi residence when Seijuurou is not even a 2 year old.

The Akashi residence was filled with laughter as the one and only son, Seijuurou, laughed as his mother, Shiori, continued her small finger puppet show. Their butler was currently preparing a meal for Seijuurou as it was about time he has eaten. Masaomi, Seijuurou’s father, who has been in his office since the morning, walked in and smiled at his son before turning to Shiori. “One of your clients called to know when you’ll have time to discuss some new project he wanted to start.”

Shiori sighed. “Masaomi~! I told you I'm spending Seijuurou’s first year away from work and even when he turns two, I will only do a small amount of work. Ah, also, Seijuurou will be trying his first biscuit today. Do you want to give it to him during his meal?”

Masaomi hesitated before smiling and gently shaking his head. “What makes you think I wouldn't want to do that? I'm his father and I care about him. I wouldn't neglect him because of work.”

“I know I know~ someone has to do the work though because then we wouldn't have the money to live here, right? Let’s go to the kitchen now~” Shiori smiled and watched as Masaomi picked Seijuurou who in turn, smiled up at him, babbling about something while waving his arms a little.

The family made its way into the dining room and put Seijuurou in his feeding chair while the butler handed them the food. Shiori placed the bowl of baby food down while Masaomi handed him a banana flavoured biscuit. Seijuurou examined the biscuit before putting it in his mouth. After a few nibbles, he giggled and waved the biscuit around which resulted in him successfully tipping over his bowl.

His mother and father laughed as they picked the bowl up and Shiori took a spoon and began feeding Seijuurou, Masaomi watching them while smiling.

* * *

“Oh my God Seijuurou what happened here?” Shiori stared at the living room which now had walls covered in yellow and red paint. Seijuurou was sitting by the wall with a paintbrush – paint on him, his clothes, and in his hair. There was even a trail which went from Seijuurou to a tipped over water and splashed paint. “I left for a minute.” She frowned as he continued to wave the paintbrush around, successfully making a bigger mess.

“What happened, Aka- ah. That is quite troublesome.” Her butler appeared next to her and stared at the mess. “Did you leave your paints out again?”

“I didn’t expect him to do it again after Masaomi bored him to sleep last week for getting paint on the carpet when I left my paint in the living room. Luckily we didn't have a chance to get the carpet cleaned and now I have an excuse to redecorate our living room.” Shiori looked at Seijuurou who was now using the sofa as a canvas. “I never really liked this style anyway. It was about time. I think.” She frowned as he dropped the paintbrush and picked it the wrong way, getting more paint on himself.

“Shall I inform Akashi-san of you decision to redecorate the living room?”

“Yes. Tell him to not come in. Say I started redecorating and decided to change the carpet and paint the walls. He isn't into designing so he won’t even want to be here.”

“I will be back soon, then.”

2 months later, after Seijuurou thought it would be fun to paint most of the house while his parents were out and while his baby sitter was asleep (the staff working in the mansion could all take a day off as a reward), the Akashi family had moved to a bigger house and they waited a while before decorating the house (in fear of Seijuurou using paint again).

* * *

“Blow out the candles, Sei-chan.” Shiori smiled at her son who has only turned 1. Their butler had orders the chef to bake a strawberry and banana cake (Seijuurou always seemed to take them from the kitchen and give them to his mother as he wanted to eat them). As soon as Seijuurou blew the candles, their butler took a photo.

Little Seijuurou clapped and laughed while looking over at his mother. His father had been late and called in to say he would be back the next morning. Of course, he had forgotten his own son’s birthday with all the work that needed to be done before Christmas.

After taking Seijuurou off the chair, he decided to take his first ever step (towards the table again because he wanted the cake). Luckily the butler had been taking pictures as Shiori would hate to not only have his father miss such events but to also not have them saved somewhere other than her memory.

After Seijuurou got his cake, he soundly played with all the toys he had received. He even convinced Shiori to play with the number puzzle toy. He had successfully fitted most numbers (much to Shiori surprise) but still needed her help. After a long day of playing with toys and cake eating (and having a proper meal), the two fell asleep on the bed while watching The Little Mermaid.

The next morning, when Masaomi had returned home, Shiori made sure they were far enough from the sleeping Seijuurou before glaring at her husband. “Just what do you think you were doing? Before you were all about not neglecting your own son for work and yet you miss his first birthday?! I don’t care if there’s a lot to do before Christmas but you left before Sei-chan has even woken up and you returned the next day. Just because you got him toys doesn't mean you had to miss such an event!”

“Shiori, listen-”

“No. You listen. I hope that this is the one and only time you miss his birthday because when I went to get him his cake from the kitchen, he was waiting by the door with a picture that he drew for you.” She sighed then turned around, ready to walk away. “It broke my heart that he had hoped for his father to show up only to be utterly disappointed.” Without listening to any excuses, Shiori walked out into the kitchen to talk with the chef and cooks, already curious as to what they were preparing for breakfast.

* * *

“Mama! Dada!” Seijuurou walked into his parents’ bedroom and climbed onto their bed. He went to sleep really early the night before and had woken up early. Today, he was going to a farm with his parents. As an apology for missing his birthday, Masaomi cleared his schedule a month later so that the three of them could spend some time together. They had planned to stay at home and play together before Seijuurou found a picture of a horse and kept following both his parents around with it.

“Mama! Dada!” He shouted louder as sat in-between his parents. He was excited to see the farm animals (especially the horses) and they had the day to spend together.

“Seijuurou? Dada is awake no need to shout. We will wake mama up in a minute. She stayed up late planning our visit.” Masaomi sat up and picked Seijuurou up. “For now, let’s get you dressed.”

When Shiori woke up and got herself ready, she walked into the living room to see Seijuurou dressed in simple jeans, and a red long sleeved shirt. His coat was already next to him. “Mama!” Seijuurou shouted as he stood up from the ground where he and his father had been playing with a set of building blocks. She manage to quickly take a photo and as soon as Seijuurou stumbled to her, he wanted to have a look at it.

* * *

“Sei-chan! Look! This is a cow. Cows go moo!” Shiori grinned as Seijuurou stared at the cow with wide eyes. Masaomi was currently taking a video when the little Akashi decided to move closer to the fence. Just when Shiori was about to move him back, he grinned at the cow.

“Moo!” Said Seijuurou and to his surprise, the cow mooed back. Shiori and Masaomi both laughed as Seijuurou continued to moo at the cow until he saw the pigs and started walking (or rather, stumbling) to see them. Following behind, they watched as he continued to moo at all the animals and people he walked past until he reached the pigs.

“He has too much energy for just a one year old. I'm surprised he hasn't tripped yet.” Shiori fondly smiled then watched in horror as Seijuurou suddenly tripped over his own feet, letting out a loud cry as soon as his mind registered what has happened. Quickly bending down, the parents examined his knees and hands for any injuries.

“He certainly scrapped his knee badly but a quick wash should do since there’s no bleeding.” Masaomi patted Seijuurou’s head as Shiori tried to calm him down. After walking to one of the hand washing areas (to wash hands after feeding the animals) they carefully washed his knees and hands (which caused more crying). “Seijuurou, should we give it a magic kiss to make it better?” He asked and watched Seijuurou nod his head, slowly beginning to calm down. After the magic kisses and a ruffle of hair, he had fully calmed down but refused to walk.

“Should we see the horses now, Sei-chan?” Shiori asked as she carried him. They were already making their way towards the stables before so they decided to go back and let Seijuurou finally see the horses. When they walked into the stable, Seijuurou watched in daze as the horses walked around and continued to watch each and every horse for at least 5 minutes before moving onto the next one. Masaomi, after seeing him babble to each and every horse, went out to call one of his friends. Shiori, who had already caught on to what the phone call was about, fondly smiled and continued to walk near Seijuurou in case he was about to fall again.

* * *

“Sei-chan, wake up. We have something for you!” Shiori and Masaomi were both near Seijuurou’s bed as he sleeping opened his eyes, rubbing at them when he saw his parents – wanting to stay awake. Shiori nearly laughed at the bed hair that he seemed to get more often before Masaomi reminded her of what they woke him up for.

“Seijuurou, remember how we didn’t let you go into the back garden for a while so we took you to the park instead?” After a nod from him, his father continued. “We decided to give you a present as you have been a good boy for the past few months.” Without skipping a beat, Seijuurou lifted his hands for his father to carry him. Lifting him up, the trio made their way into the garden. As they got closer to the garden, Seijuurou fidgeted more, excited to see what he has gotten.

When the door was opened, Seijuurou stared with wide eyes at a small white horse that was walking around a field which was perfect for riding. Near the field stood a stable. The whole thing took up one third of the garden and Seijuurou reached his arms out towards the horse. “Dada! Mama!” He grinned at them then stared at the horse. Making their way towards the horse, they watched as Seijuurou only grew more and more excited.

They had allowed him to pet the new white horse called Yukimaru but after a while, they told him that he had to get dressed and washed as his aunty and uncle were visiting. He spent the whole afternoon drawing in a new notebook (from his relatives) with his brand new crayons (again, from relatives) while also playing with a new stable toy set (which he also got from his relatives).

* * *

“Sei-chan? Are you okay?” Shiori asked as Seijuurou stared at his toys drowsily, not touching them but just sitting by them. She had been finishing a design for one of her clients while Seijuurou played with his toys on the carpet in her office. When she only got a slow nod from him, she stood up and made her way towards him. When closer, she noticed how his cheeks were visibly flushed and how he seemed to not even focus on the toys.

After putting her hand against his forehead, she frowned and picked him up, quickly rushing to the bathroom to get a thermometer while calling for her butler. “Is something the matter, Akashi-san?”

“Can you please get Masaomi for me and bring Seijuurou some water? I’m just checking his temperature but I’m afraid he might have a fever.”

After a few minutes, Masaomi was already by her side, they both sighed in relief when they saw that the fever wasn't high and after calling their family doctor, they found out Seijuurou should just rest and drink plenty of water. After giving him water, they changed him into light pyjamas. Masaomi worked on his laptop while the trio stayed in the living room, watching Lady and the Tramp.

After Seijuurou fell asleep, Masaomi went back to finish some work while Shiori stayed at Seijuurou’s side. He had woken up once but went to sleep after drinking more water. After Masaomi had finished his work, Shiori changed Seijuurou’s nappy before going to finish her own work while Masaomi stayed to watch over their son.

The next day, however, Seijuurou started playing with his toys again and much to their relief, started getting better. After a day full of work, they both began to plan what to sign Seijuurou up for after he was old enough (Shiori insisted on violin and piano lessons while Masaomi wanted to focus more on studies that would help him in school and in business. Of course, they agreed on both).


	15. Arc 2: Chapter 2

Seijuurou silently stared at his mother while she played the violin. She had recently learned to play a new song and decided to play it for the whole family. The song she played was Spiegel im Spiegel and Seijuurou absolutely loved it as he clapped and laughed as soon as she finished. He had been sitting on his father’s lap but quickly got off and ran over to his mother. “Mama! Nice! Nice!” He grinned and clapped again, earning a laugh form her.

“Would you like to learn how to play this one day, Sei-chan?” She asked and bend down to meet his eyes without him having to look up much. He enthusiastically nodded his head and they both looked over at Masaomi. “Should we buy him some instruments?” She asked and glanced over at Seijuurou who was now distracted by the violin.

Masaomi, who had already taken his phone out, smiled. “Let’s get him simple instrument toys and we can hire a professional teacher for him when he grows up. We can always get him a proper violin then. Or you could always give your violin to him since I saw you admiring the violins in the shop.”

“Sounds like a great idea!” She grinned and looked over at Seijuurou again who started to head over to the piano which stood in the corner of the room. He climbed onto the chair and looked over at his parents before ‘playing’ a sing for them.

* * *

Music filled Seijuurou’s bedroom as he played with his toys. He had been playing the instruments for days and he didn’t seem to want to stop. When his mother and father would come to check up on him, he’d start babbling about different sounds and then proceed to play them.

“Sei-chan, come on, it’s time to eat.” Shiori smiled as she lifted Seijuurou who lifted one of the instruments with him. “We told you that there is no toys by the table, didn’t we?” She chuckled as Seijuurou let out a quiet cry before putting the toys on the shelf they stood by.

On their way to the dining room, Seijuurou continued to make different sounds as if trying to sing. “I’m sure you will grow up to be a fine singer, Seijuurou. If you end up being a singer, I will surely come to all of your concerts, okay?” Seijuurou nodded and they both walked into the dining room, Masaomi had already sat down at the table.

During dinner, Seijuurou continued to make noise while his parents talked about future lessons for their son.

* * *

After Seijuurou turned 3, he began understanding music more. His father organised language lessons so that later he had time to learn about music and not struggle with his studies in school. He had managed to improve his language and one day, when he went for a walk with his mother, he met a boy just a year older than him.

“Hello.” Seijuurou grinned at the taller boy who smiled back, his black fair nicely framing his head. “I’m Seijuurou.” He reached out his hand and the other boy grabbed it, shaking it slightly.

“I’m Mibuchi Reo. Call me Reo!” Their mothers began chatting together as the two boys talked.

“I’m going to start Kindergarten this spring.” Reo proudly announced as Seijuurou sat next to him, carefully listening to Reo. “Mom said that I have to go because she has too much work going on. Father is too busy as it is.”

Seijuurou then decided to speak up. “Is it fun?” He asked and looked around for his mother, waving at her when she caught his eye.

“I heard it is. Shuu-chan said it’s going to be fun. Apparently someone who got him into basketball works there.”

“Shuu-chan?” Seijuurou asked and looked back at Reo.

“Ah. Nijimura Shuuzou, a friend of mine.” Reo grinned before the two of them were called by their mothers.

* * *

“Masaomi! Sei-chan and I were supposed to go shopping for some new clothes for him. You know we can’t just send our butler to do it all the time and we need to learn what Sei-chan prefers. He may be 4 but he does have his likes and dislikes.” Shiori frowned as Masaomi informed her of all the paperwork she was supposed to get done for the next day.

Masaomi only sighed. “You need to finish your paperwork and Seijuurou has a violin lesson scheduled to start in an hour. You can take him shopping next time. Just not today.”

“Oh you always say that. ‘Seijuurou has to do this’ and ‘Seijuurou needs to do that.’ He’s only 4 and he needs to have time to play. You even scolded him for playing with his food last night! Let him have some freedom, Masaomi. This is too much to expect of a 4 year old. Let us have time to bond.” Shiori shook her head and brushed back the bangs that fell onto her face. “I’ve been wanting to play with him for the past two weeks but there’s always paperwork and lessons. If this continues I will go to my mother’s house for a month with Seijuurou for what I would call a well-deserved break.”

“Fine. From now on there will be no lessons or paperwork on Wednesdays and Saturdays. However, if there are any important deadlines, I expect you to finish your work before playing with Seijuurou.”

“I’m glad you finally understood.” She smiled and hugged Masaomi but soon had to go as Seijuurou began crying (probably over the fact that he wasn’t allowed to see Yukimaru again as she was resting).

Little Seijuurou ran away from the scene he just witnessed. He had never heard his parents speak like that and his first response was to cry and run to see Yukimaru. When he got there, he sat down on the hay while Yukimaru continued to eat.

When Shiori got there, Seijuurou was soundly asleep, Yukimaru standing next to him, keeping watch.

* * *

During his first violin lessons, he had been very careful with the violin. His mother had given her own one to him for his very first lesson. His teacher explained that Seijuurou as rather talented and understood most of her instructions. Soon after, Seijuurou turned 5. For his birthday, his mother had organised a party and invited Reo.

“Sei-chan! Your cake has Lady and Tramp on it! That’s amazing!” Reo grinned as he stared at the cake with a number 5 candle on it. Shiori smiled at the two and lit up the candle, Masaomi recording a video as Seijuurou blew out the candles and how Reo immediately hugged him. Both boys grinned at the camera before focusing on the cake again.

“Which part of the cake would you like, Sei-chan?” Shiori asked and smiled as he pointed to Tramp. “And you Reo?” He immediately pointed to Lady. Shiori smiled as the butler began cutting the cake, making sure that the two got the parts of the picture that they wanted.

After eating the cake and enjoying a fruit smoothie, the two boys made their way towards the presents for Seijuurou. After carefully opening them, the two examined each toy very carefully. The first present was from the maids that worked there. It was a set of washable paints. The second present (from his butler) was a full set of paintbrushes and Shiori only prayed that the house didn’t get painted on. His mother got him a train track playset with 2 trains and a few cars. His father got him a mini piano. The last present was from Reo. When Seijuurou opened it, he grinned at Reo and took out the recorder (Seijuurou mentioned how he could listen to his mother’s music all the time) and a set of play-doh (they had played with it at Reo’s house a lot).

After a full day of playing with Seijuurou’s toys, the two fell asleep while watching The Aristocats.


	16. Arc 2: Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akashi starts kindergarten, meets Nijimura, and also manages to get hurt.

It wasn’t very surprising to see that Seijuurou had gotten along well with Reo or that he would be starting kindergarten the next day. Reo had told him what would happen and so, Seijuurou was confident that he would do just fine.  He was, however, nervous about meeting new people. He somehow became Reo’s friend but every time he met other children, they were a bit afraid of him.

“You will be fine, Sei-chan.” Shiori repeated as she watched Seijuurou pack his bag. He insisted on taking his favourite teddy bear to show others in an attempt to make new friends. “I’m sure you’ll meet some great new friends.” Believing his mother’s words, Seijuurou sighed and smiled at her. As soon as she smiled back, he made his way into bed and gave her a kiss as she tucked him in.

* * *

The next day, as soon as Seijuurou stepped through the door to the kindergarten, he was greeted by a curious looking girl. She had bright pink hair that matched her eyes. He greeted her with a smile which caused her to grin at him, grab his hand, and run towards their teacher. However, they were stopped by two boys. One with silver hair and one with black hair (his tadpole-like eyebrows were probably the only thing which would make Seijuurou remember him).

“Ahh~ Momoi-chan~ where are you off to?” The silver haired kid smirked. Seijuurou suddenly had a bad feeling about the two boys. “How about you come play with us and leave that kid alone~” He was about to put his hand on her when she stepped back, nearly bumping into Seijuurou.

Momoi frowned and held Seijuurou’s hand tighter. “Please leave us alone, Haizaki-kun and Hanamiya-kun. I was told to show the new pupil our teacher before we have to start classes.” She tried to step around them when Hanamiya with the tadpole eyebrows, blocked her way.

“Momoi-chan, we’re not asking you to play with us. We’re telling you that you should come with us and not talk back. Unless… you want us to use these on your hair again?” Hanamiya smirked while holding up scissors and Momoi subconsciously moved her hand to her hair. One of the strands did look shorter than the rest.

After everything clicked together, Akashi slightly frowned. His butler said that he looked like his mother and mostly took after his mother. However, his personality was more like his fathers. Apparently, he also had a special talent. He knew he would be able to talk his way out of this, but not without using his talent.

Walking in front of Momoi, he snatched the scissors from Hanamiya’s hand before the two boys could react. “I don’t think the two of you understand how girls are supposed to be treated. They have feelings, but trust me. They won’t hesitate to fight back to get what they want. I don’t want Momoi-san to get hurt so I would advise the two of you to leave before I make you leave.” He was shorter than them but he sure felt like he was taller than all the children in the room as they turned to look at the commotion.

Hanamiya looked at Seijuurou before laughing. After a few seconds, he stopped and glared at him. “What can a little kid like you do, huh? I bet you don’t even have the guts to properly threaten me. You’ll be crying to your mummy after we’re done with you.” Haizaki smirked too and they both moved closer to Seijuurou.

As soon as Hanamiya touched Seijuurou’s shoulder, Seijuurou grabbed his arm and pulled him forward. He stepped behind him and held the scissors to his neck, feeling Hanamiya freeze up. “I may not be very strong but against a guy like you, all I need is a little bit of skill. Now leave before I do more than this.” He felt his left eye itch but was distracted by Hanamiya freeing himself and quickly stepping away.

Haizaki and Hanamiya glanced at each other, then at Seijuurou before walking away muttering something about revenge for humiliating them.

“Thank you for this, Akashi-kun.” Momoi’s voice caught his attention and he turned to her with a smile. “I’ve known them since last year and they always messed with people. Thank you very much!” She bowed her head before grinning up at Seijuurou. The two forgot to talk with the teacher as they spent the rest of their free time talking together.

* * *

During break the teacher told Seijuurou that Mibuchi Reo wanted to talk with him. After seeing how well Seijuurou behaved, she decided to let him spend his first break with his friend as long as they stayed inside the classroom. When Reo walked in, a different boy was following him. He had black hair and grey hair that Seijuurou swore shone like rainbow when hit by light. When they walked closer to Seijuurou he noticed how both practically had flawless faces.

“Sei-chan! Meet my friend, Nijimura Shuuzou! I already told you about him, right? Shuu-chan, this is Akashi Seijuurou! We’re great friends!” Seijuurou shook his hand with Shuuzou and smiled a little.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nijimura-kun!” For the first time that day, Akashi Seijuurou felt nervous. Shuuzou only grinned which definitely did not help.

The three boys spent their break getting to know each other more, and Reo was amazed how well Seijuurou handled Hanamiya and Haizaki. Shuuzou mentioned talking some sense into Haizaki as they were neighbours.

* * *

“How was your first day of school, Sei-chan?” Shiori asked as she looked up from her work. In front of her desk, stood a grinning Seijuurou – still wearing his hat and backpack.

“It was great! I saw Reo in the class next to mine! We even started learning more maths, but I thought it was quite easy. We even got time to draw and play! Ah, right! I drew something for you!” Seijuurou took off his backpack and took out a colourful piece of paper out of it. There were 3 stickmen on it. Two had red hair while one had brown. They were all playing basketball. “Do you like it?” He peeked out from behind the drawing with wide eyes.

“I love it! I’ll have to put it up in here, won’t I? My Sei-chan is a little artists, isn’t he~! Get changed out of your uniform and I’ll see you outside to play some basketball, okay?”

“Yes, mama!” He grinned and gave his mother a kiss before running out of the room, giggling as he ran back to his room.

* * *

After a month of playing with Shuuzou and Reo, Shiori decided to get them to help her bake biscuits. The three boys looked far more excited than she expected. “I love baking! Shuu-chan is great at it and he often brings cookies to school for us to eat during break!”

The four of them started baking, Reo insisting on using food colouring to make basketballs, hearts, clouds, and flowers. Shuuzou insisted on adding different essences such as orange essence for the basketball or strawberry essence for the flowers. Seijuurou decided on using icing to decorate the biscuits. Shiori was the one to do the harder parts and told them they should rest while the biscuits bake. The three boys decided to sing The Little Mermaid songs while waiting.

When Shiori walked into Seijuurou’s room to tell them the biscuits were done baking she saw a sight which she would never forget. Seijuurou had green material around his legs as a tail and Shuuzou had a plastic sword in his hand while also holding Seijuurou bridal style. Reo used material as tentacles and had a glow stick as a wand. Shiori had to promise not to tell anyone or Reo would turn her into seaweed (they all were very serious about that).

* * *

After decorating the biscuits and eating them together with Shiori (Seijuurou even took some to his father while grinning), the three boys went to play outside. They had just finished playing basketball when Seijuurou heard a meow. “Hey, Reo,  did you hear that?” he asked and looked at his friends. They both pointed to a tree at the same time. Looking up, he saw a cat on a branch.

“It’s stuck.” Shuuzou noted as he saw the cat gripping onto the branch and not moving. “We need to get help.” He stood up and was about to start walking back into the house when he saw Seijuurou climbing up the tree.

“Sei-chan no! Get down from that tree! You’ll fall and get hurt and we don’t want that, do we?” Reo tried to reach Seijuurou but he had already climbed too high. He let out a whine before looking at Shuuzou.

“Oi! Seijuurou! Get down from there! I’ll get your mum or butler to help us! Get down now!” he groaned as soon as Seijuurou only grinned back at him before sitting on the same branch as the cat.

“Too late!” Seijuurou moved a little closer when the branch shook.

Reo, clearly panicking, walked right beneath the branch. “Get down from there!” He yelled as Shuuzou ran back into the house. The last thing he heard, was a snap of a branch before running as fast as he can, bumping into Seijuurou’s father.

* * *

Reo, Shuuzou, and Seijuurou all sat in the back of the car while Masaomi and Shiori sat in the front. Seijuurou was holding his arm and holding back his tears while biting his lip. After bumping into Masaomi, Shuuzou explained the situation and how he heard a branch snapping. When they arrived at the scene, Seijuurou was already sitting up on the ground while Reo was checking up on his arm. It was obvious that he had broken it.

It was quiet in the car and on their way into the hospital. Reo, Shuuzou, and Shiori stayed in the waiting room while Masaomi and Seijuurou walked to the x-ray room and then to get a cast on Seijuurou’s arm. “Seijuurou, next time you see an animal stuck somewhere, get an adult to help you. It’s too dangerous for you to go and do things on your own. You ended up breaking your arm and now won’t be to do many things that involve using both hands.” Masaomi sighed as they made their way into the waiting room. “Please be careful from now on.” He ruffled Seijuurou’s hair before meeting with the others.

* * *

A week before his 6 th birthday, Seijuurou caught a cold. The next day, he kept on sneezing and coughing. The night before his birthday, he vomited in the middle of the night and when Shiori checked his temperature, she woke up Masaomi and their butler. “All we can do for now is hope it goes down but if it’s still this high tomorrow, we will need to take him into the hospital.” Masaomi frowned as he gave Seijuurou water. Shiori already changed him into lighter clothes despite it being winter. Their butler was already getting medicine for him to make Seijuurou more comfortable.

As soon as the butler brought the medicine (paracetamol dissolved in water) they gave it to Seijuurou who grimaced at the drink but drank it all, wanting to drink anything. “I’ll go get him diluted fruit juice.” Their butler muttered as Shiori and Masaomi sat on the bed with Seijuurou. By the time he was walking back, he saw Shiori and Seijuurou in the toilet, the younger probably vomiting again, while Masaomi was on the phone – probably calling their chauffeur.

30 minutes and three diluted fruit juices later, Seijuurou was in the hospital, Shiori stayed with Seijuurou while Masaomi was talking with one of the doctors.

The next day, Seijuurou woke up and although confused and still tired, he knew he was in a hospital. His mother, once she saw he was awake, sadly smiled. “I’m glad you’re starting to look better, Sei-chan. However, you have to stay until tomorrow since they want to make sure you’re fine and you don’t have a more serious illness. I already informed your friends that the birthday party had to be cancelled.”

Seijuurou slightly frowned. He wanted to say it was fine but his throat felt dry. His mother held his hand then smiled. “We all will celebrate your 7th birthday with a big party, okay, Sei-chan?” He nodded and smiled back. Both were unaware of how bad his 7th birthday would be.


	17. Arc 2: Chapter 4

On Friday night, when Seijuurou was allowed to stay up to wait for his mother to come back from work, Masaomi had Seijuurou sit in his room.  After finishing all his paperwork, Masaomi began reading a book to Seijuurou. However, their story was cut short when Masaomi’s private phone began to ring. He quickly left the room, and the now bored Seijuurou started reading the book on his own.

A few minutes later, just as he was about to finish the book, Masaomi walked back in. “Seijuurou. Get your bag and put a clean shirt and underwear in it. We’ll be gone for the whole night so get yourself a warm blanket. Meet me by the front door.” That was all he said before leaving out the door. It was the first time Seijuurou saw his father panicked so he obeyed without a saying a single thing.

* * *

“Is mama okay?” Seijuurou tugged at Masaomi’s sleeve as they sat in a car. He was fumbling with the strap of his bag as his father checked his phone for any updates from the doctor

“She’ll be fine, Seijuurou. Don’t worry.” He smiled down at him and they both impatiently waited until they got into the hospital. Once there, Seijuurou was allowed to see his mother while his father talked with the doctors.

“Sei-chan? How come you’re here?” Shiori asked as he climbed onto her bed and hugged her.

“Dada got our driver to take us here after he got a phone call. Is mama okay?” He asked as he held her hand with his tiny one.

Biting her lip, Shiori felt a tear rolled down her cheek. “Yes, mama is fine.” She smiled and wiped her cheek. “Mama is fine.”

Just like his father said, they had stayed in the waiting room for the whole night. Seijuurou refused to go to sleep since he wanted to know more about what happened to his mother, but after drinking a hot chocolate he began to relax and soon,fell asleep.

* * *

Seijuurou first heard of his mother’s illness from his father. He was called into the office and told to sit down in a chair. He uncomfortably shifted in his seat and watched his father. “Seijuurou, your mother will be sometimes going to the hospital as she has suddenly become ill. I’m telling you this now because I need you to help her out sometimes and, she might not be able to play basketball with you as much as she used to.”

Seijuurou nodded, not fully understanding why his mother had to visit the hospital so often. His instincts told him it’d be better if he didn’t ask what kind of an illness it was. Walking back to his room Seijuurou noticed how the sky grew a bit darker, and how the walls inside the house didn’t seem as bright. The music room felt too quiet and the library too big. When walking past the kitchen the cook was talking over the phone in a hushed voice. The maid that walked past seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. Without realising it, he found himself in the garden which seemed too dull even with the many colourful flowers that his mother had tended.

“Seijuurou? Is everything alright?” Seijuurou looked around to see his butler holding a tray in his hand. “Let’s go back to your room so you can drink some tea. I was informed you found out about your mother. It’s best if you rest for the day since you have school tomorrow.”

“I’m scared. I know my mother will be just visiting the hospital for updates about her illness but… I’m scared that something wrong might happen.” Seijuurou sighed and started walking back inside. It was quiet on their way to his room, and once they arrived Seijuurou drank his tea before laying down in bed. The butler started reading him a book to help him sleep.

* * *

On Thursday afternoon, when Shiori was back home from hospital, Seijuurou made his way towards her room. He had something very important to talk to her about, and he even practiced his questions. He knew that he would be fine, and yet when he arrived to talk to his mother he started stumbling over his words having trouble talking to her.

“Mama,  What does it mean when your heart beats a bit faster than usual?” Shiori looked up from her work and gave Seijuurou a puzzled look. “I mean, not in an unhealthy way. It beats a bit faster, but it also has a nice feeling to it.”

“Sei-chan, what are you talking about?” His mother put her pen down and walked over to him, concern all over her face. “Is everything alright?”

Blushing, Seijuurou nervously shifted his feet. “I mean, when Shuuzou and Reo were playing basketball I felt really nervous for some reason, and when Shuuzou grinned at me my heart started beating faster. I didn’t know who to ask since I’m scared Reo would tell Shuuzou.”

Shiori blinked, realising what her son just told her. She smiled then chuckled. “Looks like Nijimura-kun’s charm worked not only on the girls in his class, but also on you didn’t it?” She ruffled his hair before going back to her desk. “It’s now up to you whether you tell him about this or not.”

Seijuurou nodded then grinned. “I know what I’m going to do!” he turned around and walked out of the room. His grin disappearing as he became uncertain.

* * *

It took him exactly 5 days, 6 hours, and 24 minutes to ask Shuuzou if they could talk alone. Reo had gone out a second ago to get them drinks, and Seijuurou thought that this would be the first and last occasion to confess his feelings. “Sure, what do you want to talk about?” Shuuzou straightened his legs as they all have been sitting cross-legged on the bed thinking of what to do next (they decided to watch a movie).

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Seijuurou swallowed the lump in his throat. He had his mother help him put his feelings into words (embarrassing words) and, he had practiced them the night before. Letting out a shaky breath Seijuurou decided to say everything in one go. Dragging it on would make him lose courage, and an Akashi does not lose courage. “I felt like this for a while but I have a crush on you. At least my mum said it’s called a crush.”

Shuuzou blinked. Then chuckled before laughing. It made Seijuurou want to look down but he was an Akashi. He had to be brave! “I thought you were going to tell me you like Reo, but I’m glad this turned out this way!” Shuuzou spoke after finally calming his laughter down. He ruffled Seijuurou’s hair before smiling at the younger boy. “I have a crush on you and had no idea how to tell you, but you just made things easier!”

“My precious Sei-chan is growing up too fast!” Reo’s voice cut them both off. He was holding a tray in his hand and there were 3 glasses of water on top. His other hand was covering his mouth his eyes wide and shocked. Seijuurou blushed and tried to say something but Shuuzou interrupted him.

“He is a year younger than us, Reo. You’re acting like he’s a few year’s younger!” Shuuzou grinned at Reo as he was handed a glass of water. “As one of your best friends I swear to take good care of Seijuurou.” Reo sighed in defeat and both were interrupted by The Lion King.

 They both looked at the screen only to see Seijuurou standing in front of it. “I haven’t seen this movie in a while let’s watch it, okay?” Shuuzou laughed while Reo just shook his head. The three of them paused the movie to get some popcorn, and sweets to eat while watching the movie (they were only allowed popcorn since too much sweets would be bad for their teeth).

* * *

The next Monday, after school, the three boys met together by the front door. They were going to stay at Reo’s for the night and he lived down the road so they were allowed to go by themselves. “Ah~ I can’t believe the year has just started, and there’s already so much to do~” Reo frowned as he fanned himself with his hand. It was only spring, but it was still hot outside.

“We should get ice-cream.” Shuuzou announced as they approached the local shop grabbing onto Seijuurou’s hand as Haizaki walked pasted them. He smirked when he saw them holding hands, but didn’t dare to say anything. Probably too scared to make any nasty comments around Shuuzou.

Seijuurou nodded, gently squeezing Shuuzou’s hand. It was rare for them to hold hands so he really enjoyed the moment. “I think that’s a good idea, right, Reo?”

“Ah~ I think I forgot something at school!” He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked the other way. “Get ice-cream for yourself and I’ll see you guys at my house, alright?” He didn’t wait for their reply before walking away. Shuuzou didn’t miss the wink from him.

Slightly blushing, Shuuzou turned to look at Seijuurou. “This can be our very first date. Let’s go get ice-cream. I’ll pay.” And that was how the two went on their very first date. Which included a lot of embarrassing moments and cooing women.

* * *

After Shiori’s next visit to the hospital, she was told that she might have to stay in the hospital for as long as possible to get the right treatment. However, she wished to have one more dinner with her family before having to stay in the hospital. They agreed as long as she went back the next day.

The chef had prepared their favourite meals (Seijuurou grinned when he saw the tofu), and gave them a glass of water. It was raining outside and the silence made it worse for Shiori and Masaomi to explain to Seijuurou what would be happening. “Mama, there’s a match this Saturday between my team and Shuuzou’s team! I was wondering if you could come with dad. I mean its fine, but Shuuzou said he won’t be playing basketball for the rest of the school year. He told me he’d explain on my birthday but this will be our last chance to play against each other!”

Shiori sadly smiled before glancing over at Masaomi who only nodded. “Seijuurou, I’m going back to the hospital tomorrow. I will be staying there for more than a few days so I won’t be able to attend. I’m sorry.” She saw the disappointment on his face and looked down at her food.

“Can dad come then? We can both visit later and tell you how it went, right?” He looked up at Masaomi who only shook his head with a sigh. “You’re going on a business trip, aren’t you?” He clenched his fists and pushed the food away. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Seijuurou, this isn’t our fault. Your mother is sick, and I need to work if we want to have the money for food.” Masaomi glanced at Shiori who continued to stare down at her now empty bowl.

Feeling tears fill his eyes Seijuurou stood up from the chair. “Taking some time off would hurt you too much, would it? I was taught how these things work by the people you hired. Is spending time with your son not a good excuse to take time off?!” He didn’t even realise he was yelling. He felt tears on his cheeks, and was about to walk out when they both heard a thud. They both thought it was the thunder but soon realised that it wasn’t.

When they both looked over in the direction of the sound Seijuurou’s eye widened. “Mama!” He quickly ran over to her and kneeled down next to her. “Mama! Wake up!” He gently shook her but was soon taken away by his butler. His father had already called an ambulance. Things seemed to be in slow motion as his butler dragged him out of the room – the thunder and rain being the only sound he could hear.


	18. Arc 2: Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of angsty stuff happens.

Seijuurou yells, and thrashes while being held by his butler. There’s an ambulance standing outside their house, and there are men taking his mother out from the dining room. Biting the butler’s hand (and successfully being freed) he runs towards the front door. His vision blurry and unfocused as he tries to pry the door open. It’s heavy and he suddenly feels weak.

The door creaks and it only takes a small gap for Seijuurou to slide through. Ignoring his father’s call Seijuurrou stands in the driving watching as they take his mother away. He tries to run after her, but his legs are weak, weary, broken down from all the fighting. All he can think about is just running because his mother is being taken away, and he needs to at least give her a kiss. Last time she was in hospital he wasn’t allowed to see her for a week.

He pants. He’s sweating and the rain is getting in his eyes – probably mixing with the tears but he ignores it. The ambulance is getting further away and his legs are burning. Seijuurou realizes that he has no shoes or socks on as he listens to his bare feet slap against the asphalt. He feels someone grab him tightly. Holding him to them with force he is unable to break free from. He soon understands that it is his father holding him back.  He screams, kicks, and trashes. The sudden thunder makes him flinch and he watches as the ambulance keeps on driving. It’s so slow he could catch up but all he can do is stand still while shaking from the cold.

Seijuurou watches the lightning and the rain but the bright lights and sound of the ambulance draw his attention. Soon, the light is gone and it’s quiet. He doesn’t hear the rain or his panting and crying. He doesn’t hear his father yelling at him to calm down. It’s a calm quiet. He hates it. Giving in to his father’s pleas he lets his hands fall to his side. The rain makes his hair stick to his face.

Masaomi lets go of Seijuurou seeing how he has calmed down. The rain begins falling more heavily and the last thing they both hear is a crash before everything stops. Realisation dawns upon them and they both stare in the direction the ambulance went it. The same direction from which the crash came. And suddenly, Seijuurou takes off again because he fears the worst.

The road seems to get longer and longer as he runs, but he finally reaches the crossroad. When he turns, he freezes. The rain feels too heavy and his legs give up, his knees hitting the hard concrete. The crash and the ambulance. His worst fear came true as he watches the scene before him. He doesn’t flinch at the thunder. He doesn’t flinch at the pain from the fall, nor does he flinch when Masaomi slaps his cheeks in an attempt to snap him out of his trace. All he can focus on is the sight of a crashed car, and the ambulance.

* * *

After finally getting Seijuurou home, the butler cleaned up his knees. He is also trying to get him to eat the soup that he’s refused for the whole day. However, he can’t blame him for not even responding. He found out about his mother dying in the accident as soon as it was confirmed. The doctors couldn’t save her and he hasn’t slept since. Or rather, he couldn’t fall asleep. He was tired and groggy, but every time he closed his eyes images of the crashed ambulance filled every part of his mind.

On the second day his butler had managed to get Seijuurou to sleep with warm hot chocolate, however, he was woken up by nightmares. He refuses to eat and doesn’t speak to him while his father is preparing everything for a funeral. On the 3rd morning after his mother’s death he dozes off for an hour before being woken up from nightmares.

On the 4th day, he’s in deep sleep and has to be woken up by his butler after trashing too much in his sleep and not waking up after the first 2 attempts. He’s sweating and rushes to the bathroom to vomit. On the 5th and 6th days, he has locked his door and the butler respected his privacy.

It’s the 7th day and Masaomi has planned a dinner. Seijuurou has dressed himself and as they sit at the table, he picks at his food. “Seijuurou, I was busy planning her funeral but I heard you refused to leave your room for a week. I understand you’re grieving over your mother’s death, but you still have to attend your lessons.” Masaomi’s voice is cold and it make him shudder. When there’s no answer, and uncomfortable silence settles.

After not eating any of his food, Masaomi shakes his head at Seijuurou. “Shiori would hate to see you do this to yourself. You haven’t spoken or eaten in a week. Your health is rapidly declining Seijuurou. Think of how Shiori would feel if she were here. She would hate to see this happen. Her death leaving you in such a state is utterly shameful.” He sighs then continues. “If this is the way you want to be, then be it. You friends are worried about you and so am I. If you can’t do this for yourself or your friends, do it for her. Don’t blame yourself for what has happened and eat. If you refuse, you’re not worth being called an Akashi.”

Seijuurou visibly flinches but continues to stare at his food. Without saying a word he picks up the fork and begins eating. His hands are shaking, and he has to fight back the tears. The food leaves a dry feeling in his mouth, and the juice burn his throat. No more words are spoken as his father leaves the table.

* * *

Back in his room, Seijuurou cries. For the first time since the news he cries himself to sleep. Being plagued with the nightmares of his mother’s death he is still unable to find sleep. Waking up sweating, crying, and fatigued as he has the past week since her death. He checks the clock. 23:34. Everyone is probably still asleep. He jumps off the bed and heads towards his bathroom. He feels a weird kind of calm, and a bit woozy. He turns the cold water on and washes his face. He looks in the mirror (he refuses to acknowledge the fact that he is still too short to see his reflection without a stool) and frowns at his reflection. His hair is damp from sweat and the water. His cheeks look too hollow and his eyes are dull. He blinks, then frowns.

**_It’s shameful_ **  
**_blame yourself_ **  
**_not worth being called an Akashi_ **

The sudden voice startles him and he thinks he imagines it at first. He thinks back to his conversation with his father and shakes his head before splashing his face with more cold water.

**_Lost your voice_ **  
**_Someone has to speak their mind_ **  
**_she died._ **  
**_because of you._ **

He clenches his shaking hands and tries to push the voice away, but it just speaks louder. It’s just like his nightmares but worse. He looks up at his reflection and blinks when he sees himself with a golden eye and a smirk. The reflection disappears but it still terrifies him.

**_Couldn’t keep your mouth shut_ **  
**_had to have all the attention_ **  
**_So now you have mine_ **  
**_Don’t push me away_ **

The reflection is back and this time, he doesn’t blink, but takes his clenched fists and punches the mirror shattering it into pieces. The voice goes away and he looks at his now bleeding knuckles. It surprises him that he feels nothing. If anything he’s calm. The voice suddenly becomes soothing.

**_You don’t have to blame yourself~_ **  
**_we all want attention~_ **  
**_there’s an easy way to get it~_ **  
**_and to stop the nightmares~_ **

He steps off the stool and falls to his knees still watching his knuckles. They stopped bleeding but he sees how there’s some glass pieces on his hand. He then remembers the broken mirror and looks at all the pieces laying around. He picks one up and stares at his reflection. His left eye has a hint of gold but he doesn’t mind.

**_That’s the way~_ **  
**_Don’t push me away_ **  
**_and let me help you_ **  
**_All the pain will be gone~_ **  
**_Just do as I say~_ **

Seijuurou gulps and squeezes the shard a bit tighter. It stings his hand and when he looks at one of his fingers, it’s bleeding. Without thinking he obediently listens to the voice.

* * *

The butler knocked on Seijuurou’s door to check up on him. He overheard what happened during dinner and, knowing the impact it might have left, he expected Seijuurou to have nightmares. When there was no answer he opened the door and saw bathroom light was on. He sighed, guessing Seijuurou had forgotten to turn it off, and walked toward the bathroom. When he looked inside he froze. The sight of Seijuurou laying on the floor with blood around him engraving itself into his mind.

“Seijuurou!” He knelt down and took his phone out from his pockets calling an ambulance. Seijuurou was half-consciously mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ while the butler tried to stop the bleeding from both his wrists.

Masaomi was informed as soon as the ambulance came.

* * *

The first thing Seijuurou saw was white. His vision was blurry and he was tired. Closing his eyes, he began to fall asleep again. However, just before he fell asleep, he heard the voice again.

**_I’ll help you_ **  
**_Okay?_ **  
**_Just listen to me and I’ll help you_ **  
**_Everything will be fine~_ **


	19. Arc 2: Chapter 6

The first thing that Seijuurou sees is white. A white ceiling and white walls. He’s wearing some sort of a white cloth too. There’s a white bandage wrapped around his wrists, arms, and he hears beeping just right next to him. He realises he is in a bed and there’s a chair next to it.

A hospital. He’s in a hospital. The events of the last time he was conscious flooding his mind make him suddenly feel uncomfortable. He tried to take his own life. He remembers collapsing onto the floor and a few second later someone shouting. His father, perhaps? He heard shuffling and almost immediately turned to look towards the door. A terrified looking boy with green hair was blinking at him. Seijuurou cocked his head to the side.

The boy gripped at his teddy bear before coughing and looking him straight in the eyes. “I’m going to get my father since you’re awake now.” He sounded a bit nervous and unsure of himself. After opening the door and going out Seijuurou heard the boy talking to someone outside. Taking the time to look around the room he noticed how the room was practically empty except for the red flowers on the table. The vase was made of plastic and, there was a get well card there.

The door opened and Seijuurou heard 3 sets of feet making their way towards him. When he looked over he saw his father, a doctor with green hair and glasses, and the boy from before who really resembled the doctor. The boy was tightly gripping at his father’s coat and Seijuurou wondered how close the two were. “I’m glad to see that you’re awake, Seijuurou-kun.” The doctor’s voice was soft and calm. It felt the exact opposite. Tired and annoyed. Probably because there was more work with Seijuurou being there. “You’ve been asleep for the whole day and night so it’s understandable if you feel confused or groggy.”

Blankly staring at the doctor, he waited for him to continue speaking. “I have a few questions if you don’t mind answering them.” The doctor fixed his glasses and looked down at his papers. The voice from back then was back.

**_Don’t speak to them_ **  
**_They’ll only hurt you if you do_ **  
**_nod and shake your head as answers_ **

It made him flinch a little but fortunately, no one seemed to notice. After thinking of all the pros and cons, he decided to do as the voice said. “So, Seijuurou, how are you feeling right now?”

Seijuurou blinked. He expected more straightforward question rather than… well, this.

The doctor sighed. “I heard that you only left your room once after your mother’s death, is that correct?” He nodded. “Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings during that time?” He shook his head. “Were you aware of your actions?” He nodded and saw how the boy next to the doctor slightly furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Do you think you will want to do it again?” Seijuurou looked the doctor straight in the eyes before shaking his head.

“Have you thought about doing this before?” He shook his head and frowned a little. He was tired and wanted to sleep for a bit longer. “Did you plan to do this?” Seijuurou thought back to the night. It wasn’t planned, was it? He shook his head yet again.

Sighing, the doctor fixed his glasses again before asking Masaomi to talk with him outside. They said about being back in 20 or 30 minutes and left the two boys in the room. Once they were gone, he tried to not pay attention to the boy who was obviously staring at him. “Did you really try to kill yourself?” opting to ignore him, Seijuurou started messing with the bandages. They probably were there so he couldn’t hurt himself as easily and to help his cuts heal. “Why would you want to die? You’re the same age as me, aren’t you? So why would you want to die?”

“I learned that only very upset people did that. Are you upset?” Seijuurou glared at the boy and successfully made him shut up. Or at least change the topic. “My name is Midorima Shintarou. That was my dad. He’s a great doctor. He was the one that told me you were the same age. Your name is Akashi Seijuurou, right? It’s nice to meet you.” He thought that the cooing women around him were less annoying than this kid.

Midorima Shintarou was quiet for 5 minutes before speaking up again. “I don’t have many friends so I think we should become friends. It’s not like I want to be friends, but my dad said that people with friends are happy.” He continued talking about horoscopes and lucky items. He also started talking about his father’s work. Seijuurou was glad when the doctor came back to get his son. However, Masaomi was allowed to spend some time with his son.

“The doctor said you’ll be able to leave as soon as they make sure you’re no longer a danger to yourself.” He let out a sigh and gently shook his head. “I was worried, Seijuurou. Your butler found you half dead in the bathroom called the ambulance, and then me. I was terrified of losing you."

**_Don’t fall for his kind words_ **  
**_He didn’t want to lose his one and only heir_ **

“I already lost Shiori. I can’t afford to lose you too. Please, don’t pull any more stunts like that.” Seijuurou felt a cold shiver run through him and his hands gently shook with anger. Not wanting to show it though, he gave his father a weak grin. “I’m glad that you understand, Seijuurou.”

* * *

As soon as Seijuurou was home his butler allowed Reo and Shuuzou to visit him for a few minutes while he was still recovering. Shuuzou sat on his bed and they held hands while Reo was on the other side of the bed holding back his tears. They had just finished talking about what happened when Shuuzou broke the silence. “Sei, I wanted to tell you about this a while ago but I couldn’t bring myself to. Reo already knows.” He nervously tapped his thumb on Seijuurou’s hand.

Reo glanced at Shuuzou. He wasn’t sure this was the perfect time but, “I have to say it now because I won’t have any more time after this. I’m moving to America with my parents. My father is sick and they can get the treatment there. We’re going next month and I need to pack all my stuff.” Seijuurou frowned, forcing himself to calm down. He noticed how he’d been easily angered the past few days.

Shuuzou, already having picked up at the slight change in the mood smiled a little. “I’ll visit you once I’m older. We can still write to each other, and I’ll definitely tell you my address! I also don’t think we should be with each other anymore. I asked my mum about this and she said it’d be for the best.”

Seijuurou smiled and picked up his notebook up, writing down ‘It’s fine. I understand.’ Even if he wasn’t fine and trying to not cry. Shuuzou grinned.

He couldn’t depend on Shuuzou for his whole life, right?

* * *

A month later, Shuuzou gave Seijuurou one last greeting before flying over to America with his parents. He did not say where exactly they went, and it took him another few months to write an update on things. Seijuurou was too busy with his lessons to reply and therefore, only managed to reply after 2 months. His skills kept on improving and he found himself too busy to even hang out with Reo at times. They had sleepovers during vacation and weekends, but barely talk outside of school during weekdays. His butler checked Seijuurou’s room every night for a full year. Masaomi went on business trips and missed his own son’s birthday.

2 years later, when the Akashi household seemed at peace again, Masaomi had spared some time with his son. That was when he found out Seijuurou had not spoken since his mother’s death. However, before he could talk with him about it, he got a phone call about another business trip.

His father was gone for 2 weeks on a business trip. Seijuurou took that time to stay away from school and spend time with Yukimaru. During the first week, the butler had tried to get Seijuurou to go to school but upon seeing him being happy while with his horse, he decided to let him be.

It was when Masaomi came back from the business trip, and had organised dinner with his son, that Seijuurou began to drastically change.

“So, Seijuurou.” His father started, fully aware of the notebook his son had with him. He found out from their butler that this was has he was now communicating with them. “How was school while I was gone?” He noticed how he momentarily froze before writing in his notebook. The table was small enough for them to be able to pass it back and forth between the two of them. ‘I was being bullied in school, and haven’t been there the past 2 weeks.’

Masaomi raised a brow at the word ‘bullied’ before reading the rest of the message. He blinked. “Why didn’t you go?” He passed the notebook back before watching Seijuurou write another message. ‘Because the doctors told me to avoid things that would further upset me. Being bullied did upset me so I avoided it.’ Masaomi frowned. “Just because you say you were being bullied does not mean you should avoid school. There are better ways to deal with people like that, and you should know better.”

He handed the notebook back to Akashi before speaking again. “You could have reported that to your teacher or dealt with those bullies yourself.” He watched as Akashi picked up his tea while gripping at the notebook with his other hand. “Getting upset over such pety things is just ridiculous. If you don’t go back to school, you won’t get an education, and therefore, won’t be worth of being called an Akashi.”

What surprised him the most, was what happened next. As soon as his words left his mouth, Seijuurou froze and dropped his tea right on top of his other hand and his notebook. Masaomi stood up, ready to help wipe the mess and check his hand. Seijuurou looked up, ignored the burning on his hand and glared at his father. He grabbed the notebook and walked out of the dining room, slamming the door behind him.

 


	20. Arc 2: Chapter 7

After leaving the dining room, Seijuurou made his way towards his bedroom. His hand was stinging, but at least it wasn’t too bad. It only left a small area of the back of his palm red. He walked past his butler ignoring the look of concern before walking into his room and slamming the door shut behind him. He knew he was shaking and he tried to calm down through breathing.

There’s a knock on his door but he ignores it, wanting nothing but to be alone. He wanted to yell or scream but the voice in his head warned him of just how bad it would be. It would draw unnecessary attention. Looking around the room, he saw the violin his mother gave him. It was the only thing he had that reminded him of her, and suddenly he felt nothing but hate towards it. With swift movements Seijuurou walked over to the violin and picked it up. If breaking the damn thing helped him calm down he wouldn’t hesitate to do it.

As he was about to break it against his knee, someone grabbed his arms – suddenly snapping him out of his anger. He turned to look at the owner of the hands and saw his butler sadly staring at him. He blinked. Dropping the violin, he felt his legs give out, dropping onto his knees and staring down at his hands. Choking back a sob Seijuurou buried his head in his hands, flinching away at the hand touching his shoulder.

“You should rest for a while, young master. Do you want me to make you some green tea to help you relax?” The butler’s voice was calm and soft. Nodding his head, Seijuurou let his bulter help him stand up and lead him to the bed. After he was seated the butler walked out to make the tea. Five minutes later he was back with the tea and some cookies which were especially made for the dessert. The cookies were still warm and after quickly drinking his tea, ignoring the burning in his throat, Seijuurou curled up on the bed shutting his eyes as the butler closed the door behind him.

All alone, Seijuurou cried himself to sleep.

* * *

By the time Seijuurou started middle school he had grown used to people talking about him behind his back. It wasn’t like it didn’t bother him, but he didn’t let himself get upset over people talking. Middle school was a new start for him since most of the people from his old school went to schools in Kyoto while he went to the well-known Teiko Middle School.

It wasn’t like he expected people to just not talk about him behind his back he just didn’t expect it to start just a week after the opening ceremony. Midorima Shintarou was in his class which he was glad for since they have grown to become friends (Shintarou was just as smart as Seijuurou and they both knew how hard some lessons could be, especially since they both had the same tutor).

Feeling like he could put up with being talked about Seijuurou opted to ignore the rumours about him. It all changed when a transfer student approached him with a smirk. He had golden blonde hair and his body language spelt trouble. “’Sup! You’re the kid everyone’s been talkin’ ‘bout, aren’t ya?” He sat at the desk in front of Seijuurou and grinned. “’M Nash Gold Jr. from USA.” Seijuurou shook the extended hand and began writing in his notebook before being interrupted by Nash.

“So it’s true! You don’t speak, right?” Seijuurou nodded. “Must be pretty hard havin’ to write in that notebook of yours all the time. ‘M just gonna ask yes or no questions then. Makes it easy for both of us since ‘m no good with Kanji and all that~” He grinned and Seijuurou smiled.

They spent the rest of the break talking and although he did seem like a troublemaker he was surprisingly nice. Shintarou later warned him that Nash had bullied a kid twice in just a week. ‘I’ll be fine, Shintarou. It’s not like I can’t handle some bully.’ Shintarou just gave him sceptical look before shaking his head and going back to doing his homework.

Nash had been kind and polite around girls and Seijuurou but, when it came to other boys that looked scared around him he was merciless. One day though, Seijuurou learned to not hang out with Nash anymore. The class had cleared up and Seijuurou was putting his notes in his bag when Nash walked into the class. “’Seijuurou! Haven’t seen ya all weekend!” He waited for Seijuurou by the door and the two were soon out the door. “Look, this is sudden but can I borrow some money? ‘M taking some chick out on a date and ‘m totally broke!” Seijuurou only shook his head.

They had agreed to stick to yes or no questions and he barely ever had to use the notebook. It relieved Seijuurou since his wrist sometimes began to hurt. “Oh come on! You’re loaded! C’mon! Just a bit of money can’t hurt.” After shaking his head again, Nash frowned. “Why the hell not?”

Sighing, Seijuurou took his notebook out and quickly scribbled a message down. ‘You’ve borrowed money from me last week and still haven’t given it back. You’ll have to think of some other way to please your date.’ That was when he first saw Nash snap around him.

“Oh screw this.” He shoved the notebook back, making Seijuurou stumble back, before walking away while cursing under his breath.

The second time Nash snapped has been a bit worse. He was struggling with his grades and Seijuurou agreed to help him out after classes had ended. They were sitting in one of the empty classes, and Seijuurou was helping Nash with his homework. “Look, I don’t understand this. It’d help if ya just gave me the correct answer.” He let out a frustrated groan and stood up before pacing around in a circle, some sort of habit he had. ‘I can’t give you the answer when you don’t put any effort into this. I agreed to help you, but I never said I would do you work for you. I can only show you how to do your work and correct you when you do something wrong.’

Seijuurou stood from his seat and gave the notebook to Nash, a look of defeat on his face. Sure, he agreed to help him but he was simply a lost cause. They’ve been doing this for 2 weeks but no improvements were made. His thoughts were interrupted when he was suddenly slammed against the back wall. Blinking, Seijuurou calmly stared at Nash knowing that showing fear would only make it worse.

“Listen you punk, I didn’t ask ya to help me understand this, but to help me get better grades. If getting better grades means you doin’ my homework then so be it.” When he got no answer he suddenly stepped back. With a (fake) startled look on his face, he started apologising. “Shit. Look, I’ve got problems in my family, and it’s just stressful ya know? Just help me out, will ya?” Not believing a word Nash said Seijuurou just nodded his head. It was the safest thing to do. (At least that’s what the voice in his head told him to do).

It took Seijuurou a week to convince Nash to do some of the work by himself. After a month of helping him out he realised how much work he himself had. Without any other choice he spent most of his time studying and doing work. He barely had any time to talk with Shintarou, Reo, or Nash. The former two were fine with it, having work to do themselves, but the latter wasn’t happy at all.

Nash’s grades were falling and instead of blaming himself he blamed Seijuurou. “Just ‘cause you’ve got work to do doesn’t mean you can ignore ya friends! I need your help again and -” he was cut off by Seijuurou shaking his head. Handing over the notebook, the two of them felt tension in the air. ‘I can’t do your work for you anymore. I helped you before, but now you need to do it yourself. I have my own work to do and I have no time to do your work either. I haven’t even had time to eat properly for the past week and I have to study for an upcoming test too. Do your own work, Nash.’

Nash was too calm for his liking. He handed the notebook back without saying a word before walking away. After school, Seijuurou felt a cold shiver run down his back as Nash shoved him against the lockers in the changing room. They had just finished basketball practice and everyone was already gone. “Listen punk, I’m only gonna say this once but next week you’ll be doing my work, got that?” When Seijuurou shook his head, Nash grinned.

“You’re gonna do it or I’ll tell people your secret. ‘M pretty sure I saw ya with this guy ages ago. Looked pretty close ya know. Didn’t really think much of it at the time. Nothin’ I’d find useful but then I met ya. You’re really into guys, right?” He laughed when Seijuurou paled. “’M pretty sure it’d look bad for the only heir to be gay. What would ya family say, huh? Don’t really care, but I bet some people would love to find that out. Kept it hidden for a reason. I’ll keep it a secret if ya do my work, alright?” He smirked when Seijuurou nodded.

* * *

The day after the incident with Nash, Seijuurou kept pacing around his room. He knew he couldn’t let anyone know about that, and he could probably tell his father about the whole thing or deal with it himself. However, he knew none of that would work. If he told his father he’d be told to do it himself, and if he did it himself Nash would tell everyone anyway. The work kept on piling up too and with an additional work on top of that even he couldn’t keep getting perfect grades. Suddenly, he froze.

_**Do it.** _  
_**You know how to solve this.** _  
_**Either he goes…** _  
_**or you go.** _

_**It’ll be easy** _  
_**quick** _  
_**do it.** _

Against his will Seijuurou felt himself moving. He knew there was a different way to solve the problem but his thought were suddenly fogged up, and he acted against his own better judgement. Knowing the cooks were currently on their break he snuck out of his room, and made his way towards the kitchen making sure to avoid the maids on his way. He knew there were cameras but no one checked them until late at night and it was only noon. His father would be back from another business trip in around 4 hours just in time for dinner.

As soon as he walked into the kitchen he went straight over to the knives. The voice in his head faded away and he felt strangely calm. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and traced the scars on his wrists. He has actually grown quite fond of them, but he didn’t think much of it when he grabbed one of the sharper knives and cut into his wrist. The blood appeared almost immediately and he walked over to the wall with the door. It would take a few seconds more to see him.

He slid down the wall and sat down, adding a cut to his other wrist. He winced as it stung but was soon entranced by the drops of blood rolling down his arm. The knife he was holding fell to the floor with a clank and a few second later his vision started to blur. He watched the blood stain his white shirt (of course he would be wearing white). The last thing he heard was his name before losing consciousness.

* * *

The first thing Seijuurou heard was the beeping of a machine next to him. His eyes fluttered open and the brightness of the ceiling made him slightly squint. Memories came flooding back and he realised he was in a hospital. Surely this time, his conversation with his father wouldn’t go smoothly.

There was a table in the room and a calendar with big bright numbers on it. It was only Sunday so there probably weren’t any fatal injuries after what happened. Shintarou might have found out what happened from his father so he wouldn’t be surprised if Reo found out too. His thoughts were cut off when the door opened. His father walked in which surprised Seijuurou a bit. Wasn’t the doctor supposed to come in?

Masaomi looked surprised. He was about to walk back out, probably to get a doctor, before he stopped. His gaze grew colder and he glared at Seijuurou as he walked over to the bed. “You haven’t spoken in nearly 6 years and now you pull off a stunt like that again? You used to get help and has it all gone to waste? I have spoken with your butler and your friends. You haven’t eaten properly in the past 6 days and haven’t spent much time outside of your room. I go out for business to earn money and this is what you decide to do whilst I’m gone? You actions influence those around you and you need to start thinking about your actions for once.”

_**Don’t listen to him.** _  
_**He doesn’t even care about you** _  
_**He only cares about his image** _

Seijuurou blankly stared at Masaomi before looking away. His father really only cared about what his company looked like. If his health didn’t worry him, he had no intention of thinking of him as his father. All he could do was push him away.

_**You’ve already been hurt** _  
_**You don’t need to go through it all again** _  
_**Just push everyone away** _  
_**You’ll be safe that way** _

The next thing he heard was the door shutting behind his father. For once, he would listen to the voice without hesitation.

* * *

After lying his way through the various doctors, Seijuurou was discharged from the hospital two days later. Shintarou visited him on Tuesday afternoon with the work he missed before Reo came over. “Sei-chan! I was worried about you!” was the first thing Reo said as soon as he walked into Seijuurou’s room.

Scratching at the itchy fabric of the bandages around his arms, Seijuurou gave Reo a sad smile. Sighing, he only shook his head before settling down on the bed. Shintarou suggested watching movies while they all did their work. Of course, that didn’t stop his friends from asking him question. “Sei-chan, we’re really were worried about you. This isn’t the first time this happened. Are you sure you’re fine to be at home?”

“I was told you would be closely watched from now on. I do believe your father had enough connections to find a psychiatrist in just a few hours.” Shintarou frowned. Seijuurou just handed them a notebook before going back to watching the movie. ‘I understand that you two are worried and that I did do this before. I’m not going to lie and say I’m 100% fine but I want you two to trust me enough to know I won’t do it again. My father just wants to make sure his image isn’t ruined with rumours so he doesn’t plan on finding a psychiatrist any time soon. Can we not talk about this anymore? Please.” They both knew Seijuurou well enough to know he felt uncomfortable even having to mention the topic so they dropped it. At least for the night.

* * *

“Heard ya were sick this weekend. Had a fever or somethin’ like that. Shintarou said so.” Nash smirked as he sat down in the chair in front of Seijuurou. “So, ‘bout that work! How about we start tomorrow night? I s’pose you’d wanna take some time to rest, ya know. Don’t really believe a fever would affect ya that much but it ain’t my business. All I care about is if ya do my work or if ya want your lil’ secret out. Your choice.”

Seijuurou sighed and wrote a message in his notebook. ‘Nash, I’m not going to be helping you out with your work. Or should I say, I will not do your school work for you. I can ruin your family’s future with just a small conversation with my father. Once he finds out you’re affecting my grades, he will not be pleased with you. Or maybe you would rather have me make sure you can’t say a word to anyone about this? I suppose you already know I’ve been taught several thing. Getting rid of a problem wouldn’t be difficult and no one will stop me from achieving what I want. Covering up with a fake story would be no problem for my father as long as the image of the Akashi stayed perfect.’

He was surprised with his own message but he couldn’t let Nash win. He smirked as Nash looked a little horrified as soon as he read the message. When he looked up, Seijuurou only offered a small grin. Nash left him alone and there were no spilled secrets afterwards. Using the voice as a guide, Seijuurou stopped the talks behind his back with just a sweet, menacing smile. It became easier to get what he wants too.

* * *

It was on a stormy night when Seijuurou first realised how dangerous listening to the voice could be. He was too aware of the lightning outside even with the curtains closed and his music playing. It wasn’t like he didn’t try to ignore the lightning but he simply couldn’t. After his mother’s death, thunder always made him shudder and made him unable to sleep. At midnight, when he was still unable to sleep, he decided to get some tea to try and calm himself down. Of course, he could always ask his butler for some sleeping pills but he hated them.

After reaching the kitchen and making the tea (and a few cases of flinching every time he heard the thunder), he started making his way back to his room. “Seijuurou?” He flinched at the hand on his shoulder and dropped the mug on the floor. He quickly spoon around to see his butler standing there with a worried look on his face. “Is everything okay?”

_**Don’t let him get too close** _  
_**He will hurt you** _  
_**just like everyone else** _

The butler extended his hand out and Seijuurou’s first reaction was to slap it away. He blinked.

It was the first time he hadn’t let his butler comfort him. They both looked shocked and Seijuurou stepped back. He wasn’t stupid enough to not notice the sadness and worry in his butler’s eyes and he suddenly felt guilty. He acted on instinct- no. He had allowed the voice to control him into hurting the one who was there from his birth. Sending an apologetic look towards his butler, Seijuurou ran back to his room.

The voice inside his head kept on saying things but Seijuurou pushed it away. He couldn’t be controlled by something that was inside his head. Never again.


	21. Arc 2: Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last part of Akashi's story!

The 2 remaining years of middle school go by without any further accidents, and Nash has permanently left Seijuurou alone. His grades remained perfect and any basketball tournaments have gone smoothly. It was spring break and his first year of High School was about to begin. Nothing went as he expected.

“Oh Sei-chan! You can’t stay all your spring break in your room! I understand that you want to focus on school work so you’re more prepared for high school, but it isn’t this complicated! Our teacher told us we’ll be learning this stuff in our second year!” Reo huffed annoyed that his friend refused to leave the house for the past week – always finding some excuse.

“I agree with Reo.” Shintarou gave Seijuurou a shrug and offered a small smile. Shintarou was the most uptight of the three, but he still thought spending his spring break at home was a waste. “The weather is nice for a change we should spend it outside before there’s any rain.” He adjusted his yellow back-bag (lucky item of the day) and stared down at Seijuurou.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to go out but I can’t afford to let my grades drop once I start high school. Just let me study for one more day, and I promise to go out with you two somewhere tomorrow.’ Seijuurou gave them his notebook and went back to solving maths problems. They both sighed before dropping the notebook on the bed and walking out.

The next day, Reo frowned when he saw Seijuurou sitting at his desk already doing work. “Sei-chan, you told you we would go out today.” He already had his phone in hand to tell Shintarou about this when he saw the notebook being passed to him. ‘I’m sorry I fell asleep last night and I really wanted to finish something. I’ll text you when I can go out with you two, okay?’ Sighing, Reo nodded and walked out.

He didn’t get a text for the rest of spring.

* * *

High school started and Seijuurou almost immediately bumped into Reo. “Oh, Sei-chan? Nice to finally see you. I hope your spring break was fun.” He frowned before walking away. Seijuurou didn’t even have time to take his notebook out.

Reo had ignored him for a full week before he saw a note on his desk. ‘Reo, I’m sorry about what happened during spring break. I found myself too occupied with work to actually think about anything else. I realise I hurt your feelings but I would like to go out to play basketball this weekend with you and Shintarou. Oh and please answer your texts.’ Smiling, he pulled his phone out and began texting with Seijuurou and Shintarou.

The next Saturday, the three of them met up by Maji burger before going to play some basketball. They played one-on-ones and after exhausting themselves, they went to grab a snack at Maji burger.

“So I’m just going out to eat my lunch when this girl asks if she can talk to me. Of course, I said yeah.” Reo started as he finished eating his food, trying to catch up with his friends. “So she’s in front of me, trying to say something and at first I thought it would be a confession because I already got some in my first year. Turns out, she saw us together and asked about Sei-chan! I had no idea what to say but I told her he is a year younger but will be coming to the school. She practically squealed and ran off. I don’t think I ever saw someone so excited about a boy!”

Shintarou scoffed. “If she saw us a while ago why didn’t she just walk over and talk to Akashi herself?” he frowned when he saw Seijuurou passing him a notebook. ‘You probably scared her away with that unfriendly look on your face.’ He scoffed again.

“You’re so mean, Sei-chan.” Reo laughed then suddenly stopped, glancing over at the door. “Hey, isn’t that Kise Ryouta? That famous model? What is he doing here? And with a guy?” He nodded towards the door and the other two glanced back. Rolling his eyes, Seijuurou started writing in his notebook.

‘You’re really concerned about this kind of stuff? Oh and he’s with two other guys. Also, Shintarou, please finish your fries because I want to get some fresh air. This place is too stuffy.” He smiled when Shintarou sent him a glare. “I would hurry up if someone didn’t keep on trying to ask me question that require answers. Also there’s only one guy with that mode- wait. No there is someone else. How did you even notice him?”

Shrugging, Seijuurou stole one of his fries, trying to go back to the conversation with Reo before they go interrupted.

* * *

When Seijuurou got home, he went straight to his bedroom, feeling quite exhausted after spending half of the day playing basketball. The first thing he saw when he walked into his room was a letter on top of his bed. He smiled when he saw to similar writing on the envelope. Opening it, he read what was written inside.

_Dear Seijuurou (my first crush),_

_I know I haven’t written in 3 years but I swear I was too busy with school work and my father’s health hasn’t been stable. I know you would frown at me and tell me that I should spend more time with him rather than apologising. I got all your letters with updates and I’m glad to hear that you graduated from middle school with perfect grades (not like you wouldn’t get them anyway). I can’t believe just how many times girls have confessed to you! I counted all the ones you mentioned and you were confessed to at least 10 times in a school year!_

_I only recently watched Tangled and Frozen (can’t help still watching Disney movies just like we used to). The songs are quite catchy. I’m sure Reo will be singing them along with me while you play them on a piano. You’re the only one that can actually play the piano. I started learning how to play the guitar! I would have recorder some songs for you but I feel like that would be cheesy, right? I mean I can record them and send them to you if you want! It won’t be a problem!_

_I’m not good at just talking about random things so I’m going to just go ahead and tell you that Reo has been sending me updates on you too. You forgot to include some stuff, didn’t you?_

_You never told me that you tried to kill yourself again nor did you say that you’ve been out of it at some points. Reo noticed your behaviour changing sometimes and he says he’s worried. I’m worried too. You need to be more honest. If not for your sake, for Reo’s sake. I get that it might be hard but you have to trust us. We won’t just leave you. We’re best friends, right?_

_It has been 3 years since my last letter but I’m writing this during breaks in school so I can send this on my way to the hospital. Stay safe and continue to send me the letters!_

_From,_

_Nijimura Shuuzou (your first crush)!_

He read it again before sighing, knowing that Shuuzou was right. He had to talk to someone. That someone had to be Reo.

* * *

The year went by faster than Seijuurou would have liked. However, it felt like December has been the slowest month so far. It was a week before his birthday when his father announced that he will be leaving for a business trip – for three weeks. Seijuurou only wished him luck, not mentioning his birthday.

On the day of his birthday, he woke up a bit later than usual and felt groggy as he took a cold shower to wake himself up. When he got out, everything seemed really quiet. After getting dressed, he decided to take a walk around the mansion – something he hasn’t done in quite a while. The few maids that were around quickly told him ‘Good Morning’ before going on with their own tasks. All of the staff had the weekend to themselves and therefore, everyone tried to get their work done as soon as possible.

When he walked into the kitchen, the chef was making him pancakes and there was a small cake in the oven. He smiled a little before going out to the dining room, complimenting the chef on the pancakes. He was told that there would be tofu soup for dinner followed by a cake for him. He smiled at the chef before finishing the rest of his food.

Reo and Shintarou were on holiday with their families and therefore couldn’t spend time with him. He was fine with it and had to tell them that they didn’t need to call him and talk all day. It wasn’t like he wasn’t fine with spending some days alone. It actually gave him time to breathe and relax.

While his butler was busy with grooming Yukimaru and the chefs were busy preparing his dinner, Seijuurou decided to sneak into his father’s office. He wasn’t allowed to go in there without permission but he was spending his birthday alone and it wouldn’t be the first time he has done so. He walked behind the desk and looked through the cabinet before grabbing a bottle of vodka. His father wouldn’t even notice it was gone since it was his least favourite.

He went to his room to put it under his bed before deciding to read a book until it was dinner time. Asking for a glass of wine, Seijuurou ate his favourite soup before taking the glass back to his room. The workers had no problem in occasionally giving him wine – especially since they didn’t know he drank more than that sometimes. Once back in his room, he put a random CD in before going into the bath – taking the wine with him.

He didn’t drink very often. Usually when he was upset over stuff or if he was celebrating something alone. If he remembered correctly, he only drank more than usual 3 times this year… getting quite drunk each time. After about an hour, he got out of the bath and drank 5 shots before reading a book until he has fallen asleep, the bottle of vodka left on his desk.

At around 8 at night, he woke up with a headache. Knowing he still had time to sleep, he drank some more before going to sleep yet again. He just wanted to sleep for a bit longer…

* * *

Soon, his first year of high school has finished and by the time he knew, he was starting his second year. 2 weeks after the opening ceremony, he met Kuroko Tetsuya.


	22. Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did ask for what you would rather your chapters be like so the 2 long chapters won. I really wanted to finish this fic since I am realising I don't want to feel the guilt of not writing any more so I decided to just not add certain things and get this done and over with. I present to you all, the final chapter (I'm too tired to read over it and I just want to upload it so do feel free to point out any mistakes)
> 
> ENJOY THE PAIN.

_Soon, his first year of high school has finished and by the time he knew, he was starting his second year. 2 weeks after the opening ceremony, he met Kuroko Tetsuya._

After finishing the story, Akashi slowly put down the book he was holding – Kuroko still had one of the pictures in his hand. He knew his hands were trembling but he did not dare look down at them. He didn’t want to confirm the fact that he was scared. Perhaps afraid of Kuroko leaving him just a while after getting together. Akashi let out the breath he didn’t he was holding when Kuroko finally opened his mouth. “I’m… not sure what to say. I… I’m sorry it’s so much to take in I don’t even know what to think.”

 _Of course._ What sane person would be able to react to hearing such a tale? “It’s fine.” He mumbled and smiled a little. Sure, he expected a better, or rather, more expressive reaction but this isn’t the first time he has been disappointed so it was fine, right? If he got irritated, it would only be stupid. Kuroko was obviously feel uncomfortable about this and it wasn’t the time for them to talk about it. Maybe later, just not now. It didn’t come as a surprise when Kuroko offered going to sleep while cuddling. Akashi nodded – unsure on what else to do to make the other react even a bit.

Kuroko, on the other hand, felt like he was going to be sick. He made sure Akashi had been asleep before getting up and nearly dashing to the bathroom – already knowing he was going to be sick. He hasn’t gotten much sleep and when he glanced at the clock in the bathroom, the hands pointed at two AM sharp. At first, he thought he was ready to hear it. Ready to find out why Akashi grew up to be the way he is but nothing could have prepared him for what he was told. Some things surprised him like the fact that there was a guy called Nijimura and they had dated.

Other things made him feel like crying on the spot. Or vomiting. Either seemed reasonable at two in the morning. He had never expected for Akashi to have tried killing himself. Twice. Thinking back on it, Kuroko saw the distant look in his eyes and the fact that he was gently rubbing at his wrist through the fabric of his clothes. He felt sick.

He vomited again.

His forehead was covered in sweat and the stench was unbearable but he couldn’t bring himself to move – just in case. Taking deep breath, he focused on the pattern of his breath, the tiles on the bathroom floor, and anything just to he wouldn’t cry and possibly wake Akashi up. If he found Kuroko in the bathroom, crying, he would be worried and that wasn’t something that neither wanted. To worry.

After what seemed like hours, he managed to force his trembling legs lift him up from the bathroom floor. He bit at his lip again, remembering what Akashi had told him. His vision became blurry as he stood in the middle of the bathroom and looked around. It looked like a totally normal bathroom but it felt dreadful. Turning around, Kuroko stood face to face with his own reflection. Images of little Akashi staring at his own reflection filled his mind and he quickly left the room before he could start crying. He felt the need to brush his teeth but the place looked awful in the middle of the night.

He tried to sleep. He really did try. The pictures of Akashi and the distant look behind his eyes every time he recalled an awful memory would not go away. Hours slowly passed as he lay there with his eyes closed and when exhaustion was finally taking over him, there was a knock at the door and a soft voice calling out for Akashi. After a few seconds, she knocked again.

Quietly groaning, Kuroko sat up and glanced at the clock. It was seven in the morning. He rubbed his eyes as he got up and opened the door to reveal a tall woman with black hair pulled into a pony-tail. “Akashi-kun is still asleep.” He mumbled while trying to hold back a yawn. “Is this important? I can wake him up if it is.”

“Yes please. His father has called us and informed us what has happened. We came as soon as possible and we would like to talk to him before we begin treatment.” Ah, the doctors. Wasn’t it too early for them to come and meet with Akashi?

“I will wake him up and we will be there in just a few minutes.” She nodded and he shut the door, leaning against it with a sigh as soon as he heard her footsteps fade into nothingness. There was literally no reason for any doctors to come this early especially since some people want to sleep in. Perhaps others want some free time to peacefully eat their breakfast in the morning rather than having to deal with people. He hasn’t slept at all and he knew he would fall asleep sooner or later.

“Your thoughts are loud.” Kuroko raised an eyebrow at the hoarse voice coming from the bundle of covers, pillows, and blankets on the bed. How long has Akashi been awake for?

“It’s time to get up, Akashi-kun. The woman looked irritated when I said you were still asleep.” Akashi sat up, carefully watching Kuroko before grabbing his notebook, writing something down, and then handing it over. ‘You should rest. You said you hadn’t slept at all so this is a perfect opportunity to take a nap before the two of us have to complete all our homework.’ Walking over, Kuroko kissed his cheek before letting Akashi wrap him in the covers – soundly drifting off to sleep soon after Akashi has shut the door.

* * *

The following week dragged on slowly for both of them. Kuroko spent most of his time thinking of Akashi while Akashi spend most of his time with doctors. They both wanted to spend some time together and they knew it would be hard to handle the stress alone. However, soon enough, they both managed to find some time to hang out and Kuroko suggested the library, something which Akashi approved of.

Kuroko was 30 minutes early and decided to grab them a spare table in the corner. Knowing Akashi would show up on time, Kuroko grabbed a book and began reading. He had his headphones on and he was half-way through one of his favourite novels when a sudden tap on his shoulder made him jump. When he turned around, he came face-to-face with Akashi. “Hello Akashi-kun.” He smiled and watched as the other gracefully sat beside him – already passing a note over to him. ‘I’ve been here for the past 10 minutes but I couldn’t help and notice how adorable you look when you’re focusing on something.’

Kuroko frowned slightly, but didn’t comment on it, before handing Akashi a book. “Should we read this one? It’s one of my favourites and I’m sure you will enjoy it too. It also gives us a chance for you to read out loud and use your voice a little.” He watched the other and didn’t notice the hurt on his face before Akashi smiled and nodded.

About an hour later, the both of them agreed to go out for some lunch together. Deciding to just grab a light lunch, they have end up getting simple sandwiches while on their way to the train station. Akashi had insisted on walking Kuroko back since he was going to be picked up anyway. Once at the train station, Akashi gave Kuroko a small piece of paper.

Quickly opening it up, Kuroko frowned slightly as he read what was inside. ‘Can we not spend as much time focusing on me speaking please?’ He sighed and looked up at Akashi – seeing a small frown on his face. “I only want to help you. I’m sure that once you get used to speaking more, you will feel better about it.” He tried a small smile but Akashi simply went back to writing – not even acknowledging the attempt. ‘I would rather spend some time enjoying ourselves. I enjoy our time together but if you wish to only force me to speak, I would rather avoid unnecessary meetings.’

Both boys felt the atmosphere change slightly. The lightness of air around them slowly turned heavy and Kuroko watched as the train approached and came to a halt. “Fine. If you wish to stay away so much, I will leave you be. Don’t worry about having to meet up with me. I won’t try to help you any more. I’ll see you during our next lesson, Akashi-kun.” He did not offer a smile or wait for a response. He boarded the train just in time for the door to close behind him. He didn’t turn around and waited until he got home to break down crying.

* * *

Akashi stared down at the book he was currently reading. Reo had decided to take him to a cat café to relax and enjoy some free time away from the doctors and school work. He specified to his father that he would like to cancel his lessons with Kuroko – stating that he was perfectly capable of catching up with his lessons now. Kuroko had been informed soon afterwards and it has only been a couple of hours since Akashi made up his mind.

“Shouldn’t you pick that up?” Reo asked as Akashi’s phone began to vibrate again – having turned the sound off to get some peace (and because the phone has been ringing for the past hour). When he glanced up at his friend, he noticed that Reo looked worried – perhaps aware why he did not want to speak of Kuroko as of lately. He shook his head, looking down at the book.

It wasn’t the most interesting book. Not really. The whole plot of the book is complicated and he’s sure he would understand it if Kuroko was there. It’s his favourite book and he highlighted his favourite quotes. The phone kept buzzing but Akashi simply turned his phone off, already having told his father that if something urgent comes up, he should contact Reo.

A few minutes later, their time is up and they both start walking towards the train station – Akashi having a meeting with Shintarou in the afternoon. At the train station, he can feel his friend’s concerned gaze. “Text him. I’m sure he wants to apologise.” Reo looked up at the sky, a faint smile visible on his face. “We never knew what we had to do. You had to explain it to us with the help of the doctors. Don’t expect him to know everything, alright?” He looked down again and looked at the time. “I’ll be going now. I have an appointment at the hair-dressers. The woman works wonders on my hair – you should try her sometime!” With a small wave, he disappears and Akashi is left standing alone – his phone turned on and buzzing again.

With a defeated sigh, he picks the phone up and raises it to his ear, ready to speak when Kuroko suddenly interrupts him. “I’m so sorry! Don’t say anything! I know I messed up and ruined yet another date! It took an idiot like Ahomine to make me realise my mistake. We need to go out on a date. A proper date. We can go see the new movie that came out. We can make out half-way through it if you want but let’s just spend time together as a couple. I will hang up and you can text me, alright?” Before he could hand up, Akashi quickly interrupted.

“Thank you. I love you.” It was, however, too late and Kuroko has hung up.

* * *

It took them a day to finally stop apologising. It took them 3 days to go on a date. It took them a week and Kuroko was back at Akashi’s mansion, waiting to be let in. “He shall be with you in around 30 minutes – something came up and he’s currently with his father sorting things out.” The butler gently smiled at Kuroko and left with a gently bow.

It would take 30 minutes of sitting around and doing nothing so Kuroko decided to see if he has left his notebook at Akashi’s house, just like he has suspected. The room still brought back a few memories of which Akashi spoke with a careful choice of language but Kuroko took a deep breath to calm himself down. It would not do good to start crying yet again – something he has done quite frequently lately.

After looking through most of the notebooks, he sighed and picked the last one up – already losing hope that it might be his. He should have perhaps asked Kagami or one of his team-mates. That would make sense as he has asked one of his senpai about the homework he got around two and half weeks ago. He turned to the middle, then began flipping the pages – slowly reading some of the notes Akashi has written. It was either the shock or the horror, but without thinking, he took pictures of each page that was written on starting from the middle before quickly putting the book back in its original place.

As soon as he placed it down, he heard the door open and turned to see Akashi walking in, most of his hair brushed back with a few strands falling onto his eyes. He looked at Kuroko with a raised brow before smiling. Kuroko wondered if he could hear or feel his panic at nearly being discovered but then noticed Akashi holding up one of his favourite books – Wuthering Heights. “I finished it.” Was all that was spoken before they both decided to watch a movie and cuddle. Neither were aware of how much their lack of communication would affect them both.

* * *

“So, you read Sei-chan’s notebook and didn’t tell him.” Reo sighed as Kuroko nodded. They both decided to meet up after a very brief yet very understanding phone call. “You do realise he didn’t want you to see it, right? He is only telling me this stuff because we’ve been childhood friends.” He shifted a little in his seat and waited for Kuroko to speak.

When he did speak, it sounded like he was unsure of himself. “I know. I get it, really. It’s just…” He stared down at his phone. The pictures were open and he had to take a deep breath to stop from feeling sick again. “I’m worried about him.”

“It’s understandable.” Reo offered a small smile and looked down at his own phone. Kuroko had sent him the pictures a while after the phone call and although it was vague to anyone else, those who knew Akashi knew exactly what the words meant. “Sei-chan will be alright. We need to trust him.”

“Will he really? Will he be alright? Can you say that you’re 100% sure he will be alright despite reading all of these?” Kuroko looked at Reo, he was close to crying. It felt ridiculous to cry but he did have a reason. He was worried. “He won’t be alright and we both know it! It’s written right here! ‘You know I still feel like that’ is supposed to be about what? He told me about himself. He told me what he did. I’m aware of what he still feels like. Tell me the truth. Please.”

Taking a shaky breath, Reo looked to his right. “Fine. However, before you go to him to talk about it, I want you to take some time to think about it, alright?” He couldn’t bear to look at the other boy. If he did, he wouldn’t say anything – he wouldn’t stand the pain in his eyes. “I convinced him to tell me what was wrong and he already got rid of the page but he can’t stand it. He cares about you but it’s starting to be too much for him.

“He’s talking to his personal psychiatrist about everything but it’s just not helping him. Sei-chan said he doesn’t want to tell you because he can get through it and he doesn’t want to worry you. He began having nightmares after speaking again and everything is coming back to him. His notes are perfectly clear but you have to make sure you come up with the best way to talk to Sei-chan about this.”

Reo looked over at Kuroko. There was something else he had to tell him. Especially since he knew what Akashi had told him and knew exactly what he ‘forgot’ to mention. “We’re worried about Sei-chan because of something he hasn’t told you of. A month before he met you, he was appointed a new doctor. They were being too pushy with him and expected too much of him. We only found out after arriving at the hospital after his 3rd suicide attempt since his mother’s death. He over-dosed on pills and told us he thought he was fine but… it turns out he wasn’t. The doctors were fired and things got a little better. He began to feel better and meeting you took his mind off other, darker things.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Kuroko asked, not even bothering to stop his voice from sounding so… broken.

“He knew how you reacted to the other times and decided to not make you worry too much. Things don’t always work the way we expect them to though, right?”

* * *

Kuroko had decided that perhaps it’d be best if he took some time from talking with Akashi – especially since they have cancelled two of their lessons as both needed to catch up on their work for school. Although unsure of what to do, he was yelled at by Midorima when asked what to do. It included a lot of mother-like language and how his own health should be his priority as Akashi was working with professionals and would be fine.

There was one thing that changed a lot of things. That was the return of Ogiwara Shigehiro. Or rather, his sudden appearance at Kuroko’s house. “I finally found out what school you went to and I met this guy in a basketball uniform and he was eating loads and he told me where you live! I was a little concerned that he gave your address so easily but then I realised that a stranger wouldn’t have been aware of your existence. No offence!”

Ogiwara grinned and Kuroko smiled and shook his head. “None taken. I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?” They were sat in Kuroko’s room, joking and laughing. When the sun went down, they decided to meet up in a café the next day to catch up on what they have missed. They spent the following day simply walking around Tokyo and catching up.

“So, find anyone special yet?” Ogiwara asked and Kuroko faintly smiled. Things with Akashi had been complicated but there was no way he wasn’t that ‘special someone’ because really, the two of them were simply meant to be. However, that did not stop Kuroko from worrying about him. Reo said he would be fine. Midorima said he would be fine…

Will he really?

“Yeah. They’re amazing.” Kuroko nodded his head, more to himself to confirm that yes, Akashi ( _his_ Akashi) was amazing. “Did you?” He turned to look at Ogiwara to see the other smiling but… it wasn’t the happiest of smiles.

“No. No one yet. I do like someone but they’re not interested in me.” Ogiwara looked up at Kuroko and no name had to be spoken aloud. Kuroko understood what his childhood friend felt – even after all those years. “I’ve liked them since we were kids.” The question was answered before Kuroko could even ask it.

It felt… rather odd. Kuroko had no idea how to describe how he felt. Did he feel betrayed that his friend never mentioned his feelings? Did he feel shocked at the sudden realisation that his best friend has liked him since they were children? “How come you never told me?”

“I never thought we would fall apart so I was scared my feelings would be the cause of that. You were my only friend back then.” Ogiwara sighed and looked away from Kuroko. “My own parent noticed while you were oblivious to everyone else’s feelings. There is a reason I looked so hard to find you.”

“So you didn’t just try to find an old friend?” Kuroko asked, only wanting to avoid the topic of certain feelings.

“Why would I? That old friend never tried to find me, so why would I be the one looking for him?” The glare was definitely directed at him. “I need to move on from my childhood though. I want to meet new people and I can’t bring myself to do that when I still feel attached to you. It wasn’t easy trying to forget you when you managed to get into one of the better schools in Tokyo. So I’m basically here to say a proper goodbye.”

They now stood waiting for the light to turn green. “So it’s time for us to part, huh?” It was inevitable. They never really thought in a similar way and both had different plans for the future so they were bound to part at some point. “Well, it was a pleasure to be your friend. I wish you luck in your futu-” Kuroko stopped when he felt Ogiwara kissing his cheek and then, watched him run across the street with a simple wave and a grin before disappearing in the crowd. “You haven’t changed, Ogiwara-kun.”

* * *

“Nigou! We will go back home if you don’t stop braking at other dogs so much!” Kuroko frowned as Nigou simply barked at him. He had finished talking to Kagami on the phone about his encounter with Ogiwara the day before. His reaction was to laugh then hang up because Himuro was calling him too. Watching Nigou, Kuroko tried to think back to the best way to talk with Akashi about what he saw. He was about to give up when Nigou suddenly darted towards the park exit. “Nigou!”

He quickly ran after him, hoping he wouldn’t run out onto a road. It was rather busy and he was not about to lose a dog because it decided to run off. “Nigou stop!” He avoided other people that failed to notice him and frowned when Nigou ran along the pavement towards one of the street lights just outside the park. The sight he saw next made him stop.

Red hair and a gentle smile. A familiar dog happily barking and playing with a familiar boyfriend. “Akashi-kun?” As soon as the name left his mouth, he felt better. He was worried about the other but that didn’t mean he had to avoid him.

When Akashi looked up, he quickly stopped petting Nigou and took his notebook out of his bag. Kuroko patiently waited while Akashi wrote on the piece of paper. While waiting, a familiar car pulled over and just before getting into the car, Akashi ripped a page out of the notebook and gave it to Kuroko.

Nothing else was said and with that, Akashi was gone and Kuroko left with a note saying ‘We need to talk. Meet me at my house tomorrow at 5PM’

* * *

In the car, Akashi stares out of the window and sighs. He had spent the past few days in Tokyo. The meetings and appointments were taking a toll on him and sleep threatened to take over him but he knew he couldn’t sleep. There was the meeting with Shintarou, the letter he had yet to read, and a certain scene replaying in his mind.

Sure, the two of them could simply talk but Akashi knew Kuroko saw the notebook and he didn’t want to talk about it. He had no work to catch up on but the excuse worked perfectly well for the other. It was scary to think how awkward their meetings would be despite them practically dating. Dating. That was the worst part. Akashi knew he loved Kuroko. The chance to say so never came up but he knew he did. It was rather obvious.

Did Kuroko love him though? The question repeated itself inside of his head and it was worse with all the other thoughts inside. Sighing, Akashi turned to the letter he had received a short while ago. The writing was familiar and he didn’t need to read the signature to know who it was from.

“ _Seijuurou!_

_It has been a long time since I have written to you but things have been rather hectic. My father is getting better and mother told me to take a break and go somewhere for holiday while his condition is stable. I agreed but only if he’s still fine by summer so if it does, expect a visit from me!_

_I’ve already talked to Reo about this as he was kind enough to keep me updated unlike you. Did you really think you could get away with not telling me the truth in your letters? We used to date, Seijuurou. I know you better than you think I do. Don’t lie to me, please. Tell me everything. I’m not one of your nagging doctors but I do know that writing out your worries helps. Remember how I used to write about my father nearly all the time? It eased my nerves because I knew someone out there would be supportive._

_I’m here for you!_

_Now, I hope you’ve been a good boyfriend! I know you don’t have much experience when it comes to dating (how pure of you) but you need to make sure he doesn’t worry about you too much. Put as much effort as you can into working with the doctors to get better so that he doesn’t worry as much as he has too. Reo would tell me how I shouldn’t say this but Sei, I know you don’t want to worry him. You can only do that by getting better._

_I will write to you again at some point but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You were my first ever crush and you’re still one of by two best friends so I care about you._

_Oh, your father knows about your relationship, right? So he allowed it. Sei, be careful. I know your father wasn’t the best and I can see he is trying, but you, Reo, and I know what he can be like when it comes to certain things. Don’t let him control you and take your happiness away. Do whatever it takes to have your happy ending, alright?_

_Reo and I will be there to help you out no matter what the future holds and we know you will be there or us too. We both love you and don’t want to ever lose you, alright? I’ll see you soon and that’s a promise!_

_From your dearly beloved,_

_Nijimura (you love me don’t lie)._

Both his best friends managed to bring him to tears in the best way. However, that didn’t last long. He had arrived at his destination. There was also the meeting with Kuroko which, well, was bound to end up including an argument.

* * *

‘Nervous’ was an understatement. Kuroko felt himself panicking and he tried everything to calm his nerves. The only thing that stopped him from getting out of the taxi and going back home was the fact that Akashi and him needed to talk. He already guessed Akashi wanted to know why Kuroko had ignored all of his phone calls (only way he found out about the cancelled lessons was through Reo). Without even realising it, he was already stood outside Akashi’s bedroom door. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and walked in.

“Kuroko-kun. Let’s talk.” Akashi spoke up and Kuroko thought back the urge to smile. Reo had informed him that he was speaking more and had short session of reading out loud to get his voice back on track. It was still a little rough and it did sound rather out of use. It was getting better though.

“I waited for the opportunity to ask you the exact same thing.” He sighed and suddenly felt the air turn colder. Not much, but the difference could be felt. When he looked over at Akashi, he saw the other had his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Really?” Akashi almost laughed. “If that was the case, why didn’t you answer my phone calls? Or my text messages? The emails? Messages passed on my Reo?” Shaking his head, he used his hand to motion to a pile of papers on his bed. “I nearly used up a notebook trying to get a small message to you which you refused to accept!” Kuroko looked down at the floor – guilty. He had tried to avoid any form of message from Akashi.

“I needed time to think. Everything has been so hectic and I needed some free time. Away from everyone.” He almost whispered the last part. His arguments were bad. He knew that. Kuroko could already see how Akashi would answer his _pathetic_ excuses.

“From everyone? You spent time with **everyone** but me. I was worried that I did something to scare you away.” Akashi let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. Kuroko noticed the small twitch of fingers and felt the frustration too. “I thought you wanted to leave me.” It pained him to notice the crack in his voice.

There was no excuse for his behaviour but did feel like he had no other choice. He just couldn’t handle seeing him yet. “I just needed time to think about what is going on between us. I would never leave you though.”

The conversation wasn’t going in the way that either of them would have expected. Both wanted to avoid certain topics and both wanted things explained. Kuroko almost flinched when Akashi chuckled. “I thought that too! Then I saw you with some other guy the other day and you two looked so close and I was terrified.” He didn’t let Kuroko interrupt him. “I know it’s ridiculous. Yet how can I not be jealous when my own boyfriend ignores me for two weeks then I see him getting kissed by some guy I wasn’t even aware existed!”

“It wasn’t like that, Akashi-kun.”

“Then what was it like? You haven’t exactly been telling me things so that I could understand!” The air was hard to breath and they both looked each other in the eyes. Akashi felt betrayed and upset. He didn’t want to end this in an argument. Kuroko, however, felt his mind go blank at the words.

“I don’t tell you things?” He ignored the slight tremble in Akashi’s arms as his voice slightly raised. “You’re the one keeping secrets from me! ‘oh I’ll tell you about my past but miss out my third suicide attempt!’ Do you think I wanted to hear that from someone after finding out you hoped to kill yourself for what is now apparently the fourth time?! Do you think I wouldn’t be hurt if someone told me you decided to off yourself and not trust me enough to say _something_?!”

He knew he had gone too far as soon as the words had left his mouth. He knew he messed up when he saw the shock and hurt written all over Akashi’s face. He knew he was an idiot for thinking Akashi didn’t trust him enough. Reo told him he was simply scared of how Kuroko would react and it happened. He reacted in the worst way possible. Opening his mouth to apologise, he was cut off by the sudden cold voice. “ _ **Get out.**_ ”

When Kuroko made no attempt to move, Akashi glared at him. “ _ **Get out of my house.**_ ”

He grabbed the door handle and sighed. “Fine. I’m done with this. Goodbye.” He left without another word.

* * *

Kuroko’s mother didn’t expect him back home until the following day so he ignored the fact that it was beginning to rain and began walking around Kyoto in search of an empty looking park. By the time he did find one, it was already raining heavily and the rain was mixing with the tears he didn’t realise where there. The realisation of how badly he messed everything up made barely able to stand as soon as he reached the swings. Collapsing onto them, he leaned his head against the cold metal of the chains and recalled the argument.

He knew he went too far but he couldn’t help feeling angry. Akashi hadn’t told him what he felt like and he didn’t want to suddenly find out his boyfriend was dead. Though he wasn’t sure if they were still together. He did basically said he was done with ‘this’ and he wouldn’t blame Akashi if he thought they were over but… it hurt. It hurt and so he let himself freely cry, his hand clutching his heart as he felt like it was about to shatter.

Kuroko came home a while after midnight, drenched and still not fully calmed down. His parents didn’t ask any questions and simply made him tea while he lay in bed, covered in blankets from head to toe. He didn’t bother to change his clothes and gladly accepted the tea before letting it cool down on the bedside table as he cried all over again. The ringing of his phone died down after a while – either everyone decided against it or the batter died. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

The following few days were a blur. The fact that he stayed in drenched clothes resulted in a really bad fever and he had no energy to message any of his friends to ask for the missing work. His father called the school before he went to work while his mother tried to convince him to eat something. Although Kuroko did begin to feel better, he still felt too tired to actually go out with his friends. It was already Saturday morning and he hadn’t talked to any of them in around a week.

It definitely startled Kuroko for his bedroom door to slam open to reveal Kagami. “Get dressed! We planned to go to an amusement park followed by the beach. I’ll pack your stuff and you get ready. You have no choice. I can always just call Ahomine and Kise to get here and help me drag you there so you do have a choice in how you get out of this room.” He nearly shouted as he pulled the blankets off of Kuroko and proceeded to open the window to let the air and sun in. Clearly ignoring the protests, Kagami threw some clothes on the bed and started packing the stuff necessary for the beach. “Kise paid for everything so you don’t need to bring any money since we’re taking food with us.”

Kuroko sighed in defeat and grabbed the clothes. “Yes, mother Kagami.” He muttered before making his way to the bathroom to get changed. Once he was done, he noticed Kagami had already packed his bag and was now plugging his phone into the charger. He watched it turn on and start buzzing with the unanswered text messages. Before either could comment on it, he grabbed his bag and pushed Kagami out of the room. “Lead the way.”

The amusement park wasn't too far from the beach so they all could enjoy their day to the fullest. Kuroko laughed as he watched Aomine and Kise run out of the hunted house closely followed by Kagami. He had already went through it and scared the staff more than they could scare him. Kise also won him a massive doughnut plush after watching Aomine win a stuffed dog for him. They both grinned and shoved their plush toys at the other two as they went on the biggest ride there was. Kagami and Aomine were more interested in the basketball game where they could win a new pair of shoes (typical).

At the beach, Kuroko finally felt 90% better. The argument with Akashi was still playing over and over again in his head but at least his friends made sure he didn't think only of it. Kagami had gotten sand in Kise's hair so the day ended with them all being covered in water, sand, and sweat. It was fun to hang out with his friends again and yet, unfortunately, they had to part and go back to their own problems.

His mother did scold him of his rash behaviour of actually going into the cold water after getting better but Kuroko knew she was glad he actually left the house. He collapsed onto his bed and noticed his phone was fully charged. Reading over the messages was easy as most of them were short asking if he was okay and there wasn't that many of them. There were a few from Akashi but he deleted them without reading. There were at least 50 missed calls from him and half as much voice mails but... he deleted them. They both made their opinions heard and there was nothing else that could be said. He fell asleep while ignoring the buzzing of his phone – another ignored phone call.

On Sunday, he almost picked up. His phone had gone to voice-mail and it took all of his willpower to not pick up. Akashi's voice sounded as if he had been crying. “I'm sorry for everything Kuroko-kun. I know I got jealous for no reason but I was scared. I knew you had seen the notebook and assumed you read the contents but neither of us really got the courage to talk first. I should have told you about it sooner but it was difficult. I was scared I would lose you but I guess not saying anything actually caused that. I understand that you no longer want to talk to me not to mention date me so I'm just calling to say that I'm sorry. I love you, Tetsuya.” He listened to it one more time before turning his phone off and catching up with work he missed at school.

On his way to school the following morning, he felt exhausted. He stayed up later than usual doing his school work as he wasn't able to fall asleep without thinking back to the voice-mail. Akashi deserved an answer especially since Kuroko felt the same about him. His teacher were understanding of his sickness and glad he managed to catch up (none noticed the bags under his eyes, or they did just didn't comment). It was really surprising to have the gym door thrown open to reveal a breathless Mibuchi. He calmly asked Kuroko to follow him and when alone, he spoke words that he was sure were the cause of the pain in his chest. “Sei-chan's in the hospital. He tried to kill himself.”

* * *

“He's fine but he'll be staying for a week so that the doctors can make sure he won't do it again. I wasn't told much since I'm not a family member I overheard them talking about him taking medication but I can't confirm it.” Mibuchi explained everything in the car on their way to the hospital. “They found him last night and I was told in school. Made my way here first to pick you up.”

“Did they say how..?” Kuroko asked but let out a sigh when Mibuchi shook his head. “I should have picked up the phone yesterday. He called me. I let it go to voice-mail.”

“It's not your fault. He was fine in the afternoon since I talked to him. All that he told me was that he didn't want to push you for an answer so he left a voice-mail. He didn't actually want you to pick up.” Kuroko nodded but felt the guilt nonetheless.

At the hospital, they both waited for a while. They did spend the first night taking turns in bringing the coffee and the chocolate bars and the next day, visitors were finally allowed. Kuroko called his mother while Mibuchi was inside to tell her he would be with Akashi for today and therefore, would miss school. She wasn't pleased about it but told him to stay safe. After Mibuchi walked out, he saw Akashi's father walk into the room before he could even think about going in. The visit didn't take long and soon, he was watching the other quickly making his way out of the hospital. Sighing, Kuroko opened the door and walked in.

“I wasn't expecting you.” Akashi was smiling up at him from the bed, his bandaged arms folded on top of the covers. “I'm sorry.”

“Akashi-kun... I'm sorry too.” Kuroko sat in the chair beside the bed and grabbed Akashi's hand. “About what I said... I didn't mean any of it. I regret every word I spoke.”

“You weren't the only one at fault.” Akashi sighed and they both sat in silence for a while. They knew it would be okay. They had already forgiven each other. “My father came in before you.”

“He looked rather angry. What happened?”

“After speaking with Reo, he stormed in and demanded for me to say it will never happen again. Of course, you can't just promise something like that even if you hope it won't. I couldn't remember any of this... which I suspect was the voice. You're already aware of that, right?” Kuroko nodded and Akashi continued. “He told me if I do something reckless again then I'm not worthy of being called an Akashi. I told him I didn't care because my mother would want me to get better and be happy rather than pretend to be perfect. He didn't like that and walked out.”

“So he hasn't kicked you out?”

“How could he? Mother's will stated that she had already paid off her half of the house and it belongs to me so he can't kick me out. It was never explained why they split the cost of the house but I assume it was because she expected her own son to go against him.” Akashi coughed and gladly accepted the glass of water that Kuroko grabbed from the table.

“Don't overuse your voice. You can explain everything some other day, okay?” The both smiled at each other and Akashi moved over on the bed. Taking the hint, Kuroko lay beside him and let out a soft sigh. “I'm going to assume we're dating again.”

“Of course we are.” They both lay quietly, listening to each other's breaths and the beeping of the machine. For some reason, Kuroko knew it would be okay. Things would be okay.

“Seijuurou?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a wild ride. 
> 
> Thank you all very much for reading until the end and for actually staying even after not updating this for so long (how long? much long).
> 
> This fic had been started when I went to my school placement and met a girl who rarely spoke so I decided to make a fic where a character hasn't spoken for a while. I needed a reason so I decided that the most pain would come from depression and that is really the only thing that I feel like I can write (since it was also the reason I took breaks while writing this oops). Nothing from this except certain plot ideas are personal tbh and some things may have been realistic but that's just my lack of experience. 
> 
> It was difficult to write this and I will never be 100% happy with how it turned out but writing this made me improve as a writer. I still mess up sometimes but I do believe my writing has greatly improved. Perhaps I will rewrite this in the future. 
> 
> The ending is different than what I originally planned and I had a deep desire to have this fic end up sad and with tears and death. I thought I should write a more happy ending for once so yay (and im pretty sure i promised one of the readers that this will have a happy ending so.......)!
> 
> I will be posting more fics but this time, perhaps for Haikyuu. I don't feel as much connection with KnB as I used to since I have joined many fandoms since I first watched it and the manga has ended too. I may write again for this but I'm pretty sure this will only happen when I re-watch or re-read it. Any possible updates on fics might be uploaded onto my tumblr (heterochromaticcaptain.tumblr.com) so feel free to follow me there and maybe even chat! 
> 
> feel free to request any stuff (even relating to this aka things like nijimura coming to see all the things that happened or perhaps a year or two into the future where things arent as angsty?)
> 
> I will never be able to say this enough but Thank You Very Much!
> 
> You guys are awesome! ^-^


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